Anthony Bourdain, Take Me With You

23 Sep

Dear Anthony Bourdain,

 Please take me with you on your travels.  I have outlined below the reasons why I would make an excellent travel/travel show companion.

  •  Qualifications               

☞  Have been offered many a camel for hand in marriage in third world countries, likely raising social status of travel companions

☞  Willing to try street food first for safety

☞  Always equipped with snacks and magazines on long flights

☞  Occupy minimal space in tuk-tuk

  • Skills

☞  Competent International Designated Driver: Can drive stick shift American-style and with left hand on left side of road

☞  Invincibility: Suffered various ailments in remote corners of world, likely giving rise to accumulated immunity

☞  Global Communications: Able to converse on advanced level using hand gestures

☞  Witty Commentary: Will provide lively and wry remarks with respect to people, places, history, food, current events, monuments, natural resources, native culture, and customs

  • Repertoire of Meats Eaten

☞  Includes: alligator, crocodile, kangaroo, ostrich, emu, buffalo, deer, frog, elk, rattlesnake, goat, snail

Thank you for your time and consideration, I look forward to hearing from you soon.

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One Response to “Anthony Bourdain, Take Me With You”

  1. Mrs. William Guerin September 23, 2009 at 10:29 am #

    Is it weird that I think that William Bourdain is kind of sexy? I think it’s the “I look like I’m not going to live much longer” look. Take the safer route and travel with Guy Fieri, because he travels to exotic locales like Pittsburgh, PA.

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