Dear Anthony Bourdain,
Please take me with you on your travels. I have outlined below the reasons why I would make an excellent travel/travel show companion.
☞ Have been offered many a camel for hand in marriage in third world countries, likely raising social status of travel companions
☞ Willing to try street food first for safety
☞ Always equipped with snacks and magazines on long flights
☞ Occupy minimal space in tuk-tuk
☞ Competent International Designated Driver: Can drive stick shift American-style and with left hand on left side of road
☞ Invincibility: Suffered various ailments in remote corners of world, likely giving rise to accumulated immunity
☞ Global Communications: Able to converse on advanced level using hand gestures
☞ Witty Commentary: Will provide lively and wry remarks with respect to people, places, history, food, current events, monuments, natural resources, native culture, and customs
- Repertoire of Meats Eaten
☞ Includes: alligator, crocodile, kangaroo, ostrich, emu, buffalo, deer, frog, elk, rattlesnake, goat, snail
Thank you for your time and consideration, I look forward to hearing from you soon.