Go America!

24 Sep


It’s nice to know that when most of the country has forgotten about the dastardly French, with their hats and their mimes, a small festival in Parkersburg, WV still waves the flag of freedom high.  And that flag is made out of oil and funnel cake batter.  While politicians are out “negotiating” and “strategizing,” there is a war being fought here at home.  A war being fought with the name we give our potatoes.  Did America’s troops win World War II?  Well, yes, but would they have if we were all at home eating “hamburgers” instead of liberty steaks?  Likely not.  I would also like to propose we rename some other words and phrases.  Here, I’ve made a table for you.

Old Name

New Name

 french toast  toby keith toast
 french kissing  uncle samming
 white Russian  white yankee
 afghans  independence  blankets
 persian rugs  patriot carpets
 english muffins  star spangled  biscuits
 Korean War  the Alan Alda  Project

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