1) Trick-or-Treat. I love everything about trick-or-treat. I loved to trick-or-treat when I was a kid and I love to get trick-or-treaters now. I think that one of the reasons that I love when trick-or-treaters visit our house is because when I was younger, we lived in a place that didn’t get any trick-or-treaters unless my aunts and uncles drove my cousins to our house and even then, they’d call ahead and we knew they were coming so it was no surprise at all. Same went for us. We didn’t have anywhere to trick-or-treat near our house so my mom would drive us to the houses of extended family members or my grandma would take us trolling for candy in her neighborhood. We didn’t care all that much, we still got candy (or sometimes Sour Cream and Onion Potato Chips– what a treat!) and got to show off our sweet, and usually homemade, costumes.
2) Special Halloween treats. One of the perks of having your mom drive you to people’s houses that you know to trick-or-treat is getting special Halloween treats like candy apples or homemade popcorn balls. Man, that was always so awesome and we knew the people so we could totally eat the treats. I mean, if I had kids and some people we didn’t know tried to give them homemade treats, we’d slowly back away from the house and have the conversation about stranger danger.
3) Having plans. I love all holidays because they mean that you have fun plans like a fancy dinner, family get-togethers, or other festivities. Halloween might be the best though because you don’t have to buy gifts for anyone and you get to pretend that you’re someone else for the evening.
4) Costumes. When you have plans for Halloween that usually means that you get to dress up in a costume which is awesome! I mean, what other time of the year can you dress up in a costume and walk around and not have people think that you’re some kind of weirdo? Although, I did see a grown man dressed as what I think was supposed to be a WWE wrestler in Kroger yesterday. He was wearing a championship belt. I kinda thought he was a weirdo. Anyways, I especially love clever Halloween costumes. Dressing up as a witch, vampire, or hobo is SO unoriginal. I know that I’m kinda biased but my husband had one of the most original Halloween costumes ever last year: Touchdown Jesus. He was accompanied by Mary Magdalene cheerleader and Coach God. Well done.
5) Halloween-themed TV episodes. Nothing pleases me more than a good Halloween episode. Although, I don’t think that many TV shows have Halloween episodes anymore. Take The Office for instance, in Season 2, they had a Halloween episode but since then they’ve kinda missed the special Halloween episode boat. In Season 3, they celebrated Diwali instead, in Season 4 there was the writers’ strike and most of the episodes sucked anyway, and then in Season 5 and 6, they only minimally celebrated Halloween in the cold opens. BOR-ING! What happened to the good ol’ days? Even now as I’m typing this, I’m flashing back and forth between Halloween episode reruns of Reba and Roseanne. Roseanne was good for a yearly Halloween episode as was Home Improvement. I just love Halloween episodes! They are always good for some special effects, fabulous costumes, entertaining pranks, or a spooky mystery. Laughter always ensued. Well, except for that Halloween episode of Beverly Hills 90210 where the night began with Kelly dressed up as a slutty witch and ended with Steve punching some creeper in the face. That actually turned into a “very special episode,” they aren’t as fun as Halloween episodes.
1) Mischief. Last night, four too-old-for-trick-or-treat young men rang our doorbell with pillow cases in hand. They weren’t even wearing costumes and didn’t even say “Trick-or-Treat!” or “thank you” but we gave them candy anyways because egg is really hard to get off of your car and house. It’s really unfair that the fear of neighborhood mischief scared us into giving those hooligan-wannabes candy. Otherwise, I would’ve shut the door and told them to come back with a costume if they really wanted some candy. And we have good candy, too.
2) Candy corn. I don’t necessarily want to start The Great Candy Corn Debate of 2009 with Vitamin G but I do have to respectfully disagree that candy corn is an acceptable Halloween treat. Candy corn is the most disgusting candy that I have ever eaten. The only thing more gross are those awful candy corn-ish harvest pumpkins. The smell actually makes me want to vomit. And don’t even get me started on taste; it’s like a combination of sugary grit, wax, and disgusting rolled into one. I do appreciate that many people like to eat it layer by layer, I do that with my Kit-Kat bars.
3) Not having plans. Nothing is more depressing than not having plans on Halloween. If you don’t have a party to go to, at the very least, you should carve a pumpkin, watch a scary movie, or wander through a corn maze. Since I used to work in residence life, I have plenty of practice in not having plans on Halloween. Unless you count plans that include visiting drunk college students in the emergency room and then calling their parents. If you do, then my Halloweens of past were full of excitement.
4) Slutty costumes. Sometimes going out to a bar on Halloween is totally not worth it because all the women are dressed as slutty something. Each year, the slutty costumes get even more outlandish, kinda like this.
5) People who believe Halloween is about worshipping the devil. If there is anything less about worshipping the devil, it’s when little kids dress up as princesses and X-Men and ask for free candy. This is why I get so upset when I hear people dogging on Halloween and dubbing it, “the devil’s holiday.” When I was a kid, this awful woman at my church told my mom that she was a horrible mother for letting us believe in Halloween. My mom cried, we still went trick-or-treating, and that woman remained a be-otch for the rest of her life. Happy Halloween!