It’s like…

1 Oct

You know the old saying: “It’s like riding a bike?”  This phrase is meant to assure people that whatever task is at hand, it will be as easy as picking up a bike and riding it again, years and years after you’ve long given up bike riding.  Well, what happens when the thing that you intend to do after years and years is to ride a bike and you can’t do it?  You’re probably thinking to yourself, “What kind of person can’t ride a bike?”  Me.

I was on vacation a couple months ago with Vitamin G and my husband and the totally goaded me into biking.  And by goading me into biking, I mean, they wanted to go and I didn’t want to feel left out.  I hate that.  Plus, I had been pigging out during the trip, I needed some exercise.  Well, I didn’t make it too far on the bike path before I biked over a hole caused by a tree root and fell hard to the ground.  I was dirty and my arm hurt, but I tried again.  Not long after that, I fell again and then was almost hit by a truck.  During the point in the bike ride where I was almost killed by a truck, we had been biking for awhile; I thought that we’d turn around and circle back at any time now, nope.  They kept biking and biking.  We were honestly biking to nowhere.  And you know, all bikes are too big for me.  I have short, little legs (with no ankles, just cankles).  I don’t think there is a suitable bike out there for me that isn’t labeled with Hot Wheels stickers. Riding a bike is not easy… or fun.


Well, after that experience, that phrase has become a big load of crap.  Completely meaningless.  Therefore, just like Vitamin G in her “Go America!” post, I feel that we need to think of more appropriate analogies because not everyone is capable of just jumping right back onto a bike and riding and I know.  So, let’s see…

  • “It’s like eating.” Everyone has to eat and it’s fairly easy to do.  You buy or cook some food, stick it in your mouth, chew, and it slides down your gullet.  Easy as pie.  Yum, I love pie.
  • “It’s like breathing.” Most people don’t even think about breathing, so it must be easy.
  • “It’s like getting dressed.” Getting dressed everyday is extremely easy, well, except for nudists.  And they don’t count in this analogy.  Come to think of it, this analogy doesn’t apply to my husband either.  Getting dressed is difficult for him.  As a young boy, he used to put on two pairs of underwear and even sometimes forget that he was wearing them and wear them in the shower.  Even now, he occasionally puts on two different pair of socks.  Anyways, getting dressed is really easy for most people.

Can you think of any other suitable analogies?


3 Responses to “It’s like…”

  1. Mrs Zack Morris October 1, 2009 at 1:16 pm #

    Um I believe your husband also forgot to take the hanger out of his shirt on occasion….

    How about It’s like blinking. Everyone blinks without thinking. My substitute math teacher even did it too often – it was quite awkward and distracting. It’s not, however, like NOT blinking. That’s hard to do, just try putting mascara on while not looking like an asshole to not blink. I double dog dare you.


  1. Love/Hate: Working Out « 141characters - October 9, 2009

    […] not.    I tried to find an exercise that wouldn’t be painful, but you’ve all read how biking turned out. Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Scrubs, not just a terrible sitcomLisa […]

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    […] various Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives along the way.  Yeah, I gained five pounds on this trip and almost died riding a bike but it was so worth […]

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