Oh who am I kidding, I hate working out.
Love Why I Tolerate Working Out:
1) I like when my clothes fit properly. I love buying clothes but I also hate spending money. So that means that in order for me to maintain a size that fits into the limited amount of clothes that I buy, I need to work out. Therefore, when I get the urge to eat an entire pizza or chocolate cake, I remember that I’m still unemployed and can’t afford to buy a larger pair of jeans. This, people, is what drives me to work out.
2) I LOVE food. Speaking of things that drive me to work out, my undeniable love for all things food. If you work out, you can afford to have dessert from time to time or even have some late night snacks. So, I suppose if working out allows me to consume more calories, then I’ll do it. But be careful not too many desserts or late night snacks because then, you actually have to work out more and who wants that.
3) Being healthy, I guess. Sure, being healthy is great, it beats the alternative. But I have to be honest, it’s really the last reason in my mind to justify working out. Vanity and food consumption , now those are two reasons that I can get behind long enough to drag myself through a workout.
Nope, sorry. Three reasons that I tolerate working out is all that I could come up with. There aren’t any other reasons. Working out is an awful way to spend your time…
1) People who love working out.
Overly enthusiastic person into fitness: “Don’t you feel better after you work out?”
Mondoo: “No. I actually feel worse. I’m sweaty. My body hurts. And my bored out of my skull.”
Overly enthusiastic person into fitness: “Aw, you don’t mean that. I always feel lighter and refreshed after working out.”
Mondoo: “Yeah, no, sorry. Can’t relate.”
Gah. Those people are obnoxious.
2) People who don’t need to work out. You see them everywhere. You work with them, you may be friends with them, they may even exist in your own family. Those high-metabolism freaks that can eat whatever they want and remain rail thin. The nerve of those people. They have no idea how hard you work out to only lose a half a pound a week and they sit there with their giant sandwiches, plates of food, and regular soft drinks and happily claim “I never have to work out!” Ugh. Go away.
3) There’s never a good time of day to work out. I’m too tired in the morning but I’m also too tired before dinner and before bedtime. Plus, I hate getting two showers in a day. It’s annoying. And bad for the environment (read: our water bill) and the moisture of my hair. They say that you should work out at the time of the day that you have the most energy. I believe that I have the most energy while I’m eating. Nothing gets me more excited. Can you eat and work out at the same time? If so, we might be onto something here…
4) 30 to 50 minutes of my life that I will never get back, 4 to 5 times a week. When I actually do make myself work out, I always think of a million and one other things that I would rather be doing. And, man, working out is soooo boring. I try listening to music. I try switching up my workouts. Nothing works. Exercising is boring.
5) Working out is painful. If you’re working out to see any kinda result, it hurts. “Feel the burn!” Id’ rather not. I tried to find an exercise that wouldn’t be painful, but you’ve all read how biking turned out.