Vampires have always been present on television, in our breakfast bowls, and even in sports. But lately, vampires have inundated pop culture and I’m not pleased. I guess more than anything, I don’t understand it. Why vampires? Oh, that’s right. Because of the Twilight series. And because people in Hollywood can’t come up with their own ideas, they just capitalize on ideas that are already out there and popular (No, I’m serious, not only do they steal ideas from literature, they also remake movies that they just made a few years ago. Don’t believe me? Check out Hulk (2003) and The Incredible Hulk (2008)).
So, thank you, Stephanie Meyer for starting this terrifying trend that I cannot escape.
For example, I turn on the TV and what do I see? Vampire shows. True Blood on HBO, The Vampire Diaries on The CW. I go to the movies and what previews do I see? Movies about vampires. Scary looking ones, too. Have you ever imagined a world overtaken by vampires? Then Daybreakers might be for you. Or how about a movie that combines vampires and a freak show? The Vampire’s Assistant is sure to intrigue most and further traumatize Vitamin G. I mean, what is scarier than combining vampires AND the circus?
Above all, I think the most terrifying aspect of this vampire onslaught has been its affect on our youth. The young men and women of the world now find these vampire-looking people attractive:
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Dear young adults of the world, people with pointy features, vacant eyes, pouty lips, and moppy hair ARE NOT attractive. Neither are vampires. They are monsters. Do yourself a favor and find a clean cut mortal to fall in love with. Did you know that Taylor Lautner (top) was actually chosen for his Twilight role because he most resembled a werewolf? Werewolves are unattractive, too.
What do vampires and this most recent trend have in common? The both suck. Hahaha, I’m hilarious.