Some time ago, I wrote a post about those uncomfortable encounters that occur when you have a difference of opinion. You know what I’m talking about. It usually happens in one of two ways: 1) You proclaim your annoyance with a certain topic and nearly everyone in the room is appalled, they verbally gang up on you, and leave you wishing that you had just kept your mouth shut; or 2) Everyone in the room begins talking about how much they love someone/something. You disagree, but you keep it to yourself because, hey, that’s easier than being at the center of a disagreement. But somehow during the discussion, you’re left wondering what’s wrong with you that you’re in the minority. How can you be so off on what is popular?
My original post, I’m so controversial, focused on beloved celebrities that I can’t stand. Well, as I’ve discovered recently, there are many other things that the world loves that I just don’t understand and simply can’t get behind.
Yoville, Farmville, Pet Society, Mafia Wars – you name it, I don’t understand it. I use Facebook to communicate with people. I do not use Facebook to play games—especially pointless games where I have to sell cows and plant corn. I already allow Facebook to take up too much of my time. No, Facebook friends, I don’t want to pet your dog, help you find a home for that lost sheep, or join your mob. Quit sending me invitations or I’ll block you.
Hoops and YoYo
A few years ago, I started receiving cards with these two creatures on them. Much to my confusion and dismay, upon opening them I would hear a chorus of phrases: “WEE!” “YAY!” “OOOO!” “Unintelligible other noises!” Apparently the cards and the creatures therein are funny? Hmm. I’m not sure how or why. They seem pretty annoying to me and I can never understand what they are saying. One of the creatures is a cat while the other is a rabbit. I defy you to decipher which is which.
For as long as I live, I don’t think that I’ll ever understand how such ugly footwear such as Ugg Boots or Crocs have become so popular. Ok, I can understand how sometimes in high school, really ugly things become trendy because the cute, popular girl wears them and soon other lemmings follow but this seems to be a nationwide trend. How does that happen? Who decided that this footwear was cool? Crocs seem like they’d just make your feet sweatier (you’re wearing plastic on your feet, after all. Don’t you remember the ill-effects of jellies?). Ugg Boots are supposed to keep your feet really warm in the winter. But they’re made of suede and it seems like suede and winter slush are a bad combination. The biggest argument in favor of this foot wear is the phrase: “Oh but they’re so comfortable!” Yeah, so are my slippers and I don’t wear them outside of my house.
Talking about how drunk you got last night/weekend
“Man, I was so wasted on Saturday!” “I got so drunk that I puked!” “I don’t even remember Friday night, I was so tanked!” Am I supposed to think that you’re cool? Should I be impressed with your high tolerance, or lack thereof? Well you’re not and I’m not. Here’s an idea, grow up. We’re not in college anymore, we have jobs, and adulty responsibilities and you should have learned by now how to consume alcohol responsibly. If you haven’t, then I just feel sorry for you. Enjoy living in the past!
General population, I hate to break it to you but Olive Garden isn’t a fancy restaurant. It’s an easy mistake to make. They have a wine list and their menu items are overpriced. But, really, those two things don’t make it a high end restaurant. Simply put, it’s a chain restaurant that is oftentimes so crowded that patrons must wait well over an hour for a table. A tip for you, America: Go to a local Italian restaurant. The food will be better and more affordable and I bet you get a table right away.
I don’t even know what E*Trade sells or does. I imagine it has something to do with money but I also imagine that it has NOTHING to do with a talking baby. Who were the ad geniuses that came up with this one? But once again, people seem to love this ridiculous talking baby. He’s not funny. In fact, he seems kinda like a jerk. Jerk baby, I don’t want to trade with you or buy your money or whatever it is that E*Trade does. Try again.
Two and a Half Men
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Charlie Sheen must be into some voodoo magic or something. How in the world he managed to get everyone to forget that he is a sex addict, was involved in drugs AND a prostitution ring, and divorced his pregnant wife is beyond me. Not only did he get everyone to forget about his many indiscretions but he got them to fall in love with his sub-par sitcom. HUH?! I do believe that there is one contingency that we can blame for the population’s love Two and a Half Men: old people. Old people love CBS and old people loved Everybody Loves Raymond. And old people hate changing the channel; hence, the unnecessary popularity of this “comedy.” Thanks a lot old people.