141characters is taking a little hiatus for the rest of the week due to the wonderful holiday that is Thanksgiving. No worries, Mondoo will be back next week with more wit, wisdom, Mondoo’s Mailbag, and Love/Hate. In the meantime, I leave you with some guidelines in order to make the most of your Thanksgiving holiday.
Eat. Thanksgiving is only one holiday, so just eat. Forget about your diet, looking good in your bathing suit, or fitting into that dress. Holidays aren’t about weight loss; they are about good food and this food you can only usually get once a year. Just eat.
Avoid sketchy relatives. There are always at least one or two family members at holiday gatherings that you want to steer clear from; maybe more depending on your family. A fabulous way to avoid those relatives that just skeeve you out is finding an ally. Perhaps the ally is a spouse, sibling, or cousin; whoever it is, make a pact and stick together. Some sort of alliance is your only hope at avoiding an awkward relative encounter over the pumpkin pie.
Make time for friends. Thanksgiving is the one holiday during the year where most, if not all, of your hometown friends are going to be home during the same timeframe as you. Use the long holiday weekend to your advantage and spend as much time as you can with your friends, you’ll see your family at Christmas. Oh! You can also use plans with your friends to avoid sketchy relatives.
Eat again. If someone offers you leftovers, an extra slice of pie, or if someone encourages you to eat again after a short break/nap, do it. Thanksgiving and all of its goodies only come once a year. Eat up.
Travel safe. I’ve never seen so many idiots on the road as I do during the Thanksgiving holiday. It’s like people forget how to drive during the last week of November. Interstates get bottlenecked all the time at Thanksgiving and it never fails, some stupid college girl on her cell phone isn’t paying attention and rear-ends the car in front of her causing a chain reaction of dumb. Don’t be that person. Here are some tips for safe and idiot-free holiday travel: travel in a reliable car; pay attention; and if you are driving slowly in the passing lane, move the hell over, it’s courteous and, in most states, the law.
Don’t fill up on carbs… from beer. You can have beer any time of the year, don’t drink it on Thanksgiving. There are too many other enjoyable carbs to fill up on, like stuffing.
Run in a Turkey Trot. If you run in a Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning, it usually only takes 30 minutes but completely justifies eating twice as much throughout the day. You ran in a race! Eat!
Don’t actually watch football. Thanksgiving football is usually pretty awful. And it features the Lions.
Be thankful. No one likes a Bitter Betty, Sourpuss Sue, Debbie Downer, or Harrumph Harry, so buck up and be thankful and appreciative this holiday. I hate how holidays bring out the worst in some people. That’s just wrong. You’re eating good food, I’m sure you like at least one person in your family, and you usually don’t have to go to work; enjoy it. And give thanks.