I’m so excited to have pregnant friends. I love baby presents and baby decorating and all the food pregnant women get to eat and how they are ALWAYS up for ice cream. Once my roommate was training for a marathon and she had to eat like 10 meals a day for the calories. That was so fun for me. The day we skipped work to eat breakfast at this gourmet diner and got four different dishes including pancakes, an omelet, breakfast burrito and French toast (thereby resolving the ultimate breakfast controversy of sweet v. savory) was one of my best days ever. Lately I’ve had lunch a few times with a couple of pregnant friends and have been more than a little disappointed in the relatively sane amount of food they consumed. I was prepared for a food massacre of Civil War proportions but it was more like the Spanish-American War of nibbling. I hope that Mondoo can live up to my dreams of sharing in the joy of pregnancy by sharing in the food of pregnancy. And about the pancakes, a betrayal understandably so severe that I’m sure the term “Pancakes” will from here on be used to describe the worst kinds of friend offenses, I’m very sorry and will make it up to you in the months to come with cookies and nachos and milkshakes.
Now, since Mondoo’s post about what not to say to a pregnant woman, I’ve come up with a couple questions for women who are or have been pregnant. Mondoo set forth a good list of things one should never say, but I still have some questions about what’s appropriate. For instance, is it ok to tell pregnant women that they are glowing? I hear that a lot but I’m not sure why people say it. Glowing with sweat? Glowing with nuclear radiation? Under a black light?
Here are a couple things I have been compelled to say (not to Mondoo), but I’m not sure if they are ok.
“Just one baby? Like TLC is going to care about that.”
“Pregnant? That’s great! Do you know who the babydaddy is?”
“How’s that hip tattoo holding up?”
“Based on that ultrasound picture you posted on facebook, I can’t tell if your baby is human!”
“Can you breastfeed with implants?”
Thanks in advance for helping to clear these up for me, I would hate to commit Pancakes on another pregnant friend!