Welcome to the final installment of Love/Hate Christmas editions. For today’s topic, we’ll explore the positives and negatives of Christmas decorations.
1) Nativity Scenes. Now I’m not overly religious or anything but I just love Christmas decorations that include nativity scenes. I honestly don’t know why though, I can’t put my finger on it. I do, however, remember just falling madly in love with two distinctly different nativity scenes during my childhood. The first was my Grandma Helen’s plastic lighted outdoor nativity set (a similar likeness although not the real thing) that she proudly displayed in her garage (a.k.a the hunky manger) complete with hay and a star overhead. The second was a ceramic Precious Moments nativity set that was perched on top of my parent’s television set. Precious Moments are generally kinda creepy with their abnormally big eyes and such. And, to be honest, the idea of them portraying the nativity is especially creepy because, as my husband puts it, they’re “babies having Jesus babies.”
3) Christmas Trees. I love Christmas trees! If I could have one in every room of my house, I totally would. I love the lights and ornaments and the presents that are usually underneath. I love when city buildings change their lights and fashion a mis-shapened tree in the windows. Above all, my favorite aspect about Christmas trees is that people love to show them off; so much so in fact that they set them up in their windows and keep the blinds open all night allowing you to voyeuristically peer into their otherwise closed-up house. I love seeing what other people’s houses look like.
5) Edible Decorations. I know, I know, this is kind of a stretch in the decoration category but just play along for a second. All sorts of goodies appear during the holidays and many of them are left just hanging around waiting to be eaten. Exhibit #1: Candy canes. People love to decorate with candy canes. We even put them on our Christmas tree when I younger and I always stole them from the tree to satisfy my need to snack. Only the blueberry or watermelon ones though, I don’t care for peppermint. The taste makes me feel like I just brushed my teeth. Exhibit B: Red and green M&Ms. These festive looking candies always appear in crystal bowls on coffee tables around the nation during Christmastime. Edible and decorative. By far my most favorite edible decoration are these delicious, salty mixed nuts that appear on my mother-in-law’s end table each holiday season. Two years ago, I ate so many nuts that, well, let’s just say, I was uncomfortable for a couple days. Last year, I had to restrain myself from the nut eating because of an ill-planned cruise vacation shortly after the New Year. Well, this year I’m pregnant and all bets are off. Watch out, nuts.
1) Living Nativities. Yes, I love nativity scenes but I just don’t really understand the point of living nativities. So, real people dress up and pretend to be Mary, Joseph, shepherds and the like. They stand there in the cold for hours on end to achieve what purpose? To remind us of the Christ part of Christmas? Um, my grandma’s plastic, lighted nativity did the same thing and no one got frostbite.
2) Multicolored Lights. As previously mentioned, I prefer white twinkle lights over the multi-colored ones. Just a personal preference. However, I feel that one is more likely to commit the Christmas decoration sin of over-decorating when you’re using multi-colored lights versus the white ones. Take this house, for example. Doesn’t it look like Christmas threw up on that house? I can’t help but think that it may look less offensive if those lights were white rather than a barrage of colors.
3) People who insist on live Christmas trees. “Oh, but you must have a real tree! They are the only way to go.” Oh really? I’ve had my tree up since the weekend after Thanksgiving. How long has yours been up? Oh, it’s not up yet? Because if you put it up this early, it would probably die by Christmas? Oh and one more question, how is it sweeping up those needles and watering your already dead tree every day? You’re right, the only way to go.
4) Inflatables. I might hate inflatable decorations the most out of all hated Christmas decorations. Nothing is tackier than a giant inflatable Santa… oh wait, yes there is, an entire yard of inflatable decorations. Furthermore, nothing is more depressing than a yard of deflated inflatables. It looks a like someone melted the Rankin-Bass studios.
5) My husband’s nutcrackers. Yes, my husband collects nutcrackers. Terrifying, creepy, we don’t really crack nuts, nutcrackers. Sometimes I have nightmares where the nutcrackers awake and march into my bedroom and attack me, with this one leading the charge. Eeek!