Parental Control

22 Dec

As you may remember from previous posts, I’m pregnant.  Yesterday we found out that we’re having a little girl.  God help her daddy.  Even though I knew the baby was going to be either a boy or girl, I don’t think that I mentally prepared myself for either. Yesterday’s discovery brought on a whole new level of concern, worry, and excitement about our impending bundle of joy.  After reading Vitamin G’s post about television, I became extremely concerned about the crap that my daughter could potentially watch on TV someday.  Vitamin G chronicled some decent programming, but wow, how times have changed.  There are some really awful things on TV out there currently.  Therefore, I’ve started a list of television shows that will be blocked and she will never be exposed to.  If you have others, please let me know and I will just put them under DirecTV’s parental control, no use in waiting.

Southern Belles of Louisville/Dallas Divas and Daughters:  I lumped these two shows together because they are pretty much the same thing.  Southern socialites who don’t work, care only about their appearance and status, and are spoiled and mean to their mothers.  I don’t need that.   I’m currently doing an excellent job of caring for this baby and will continue to do so after she is born.  I don’t need her talking back to me or wanting a Range Rover for her birthday.

Real Housewives of any location: Um, these women are not real housewives, we all know that and I need my daughter to know that, too.  Real housewives, as I’ve come to find out in the past seven months, actually have to cook, clean, pay bills, run errands, etc. etc. etc.  Granted, I do my fair share of relaxing at times, but I don’t dress like this every day or star in absurd fake music videos.  Also, to date, no one has bought me diamonds or a Benz.  Although, I’m not opposed to either.  Housewives can have nice things, they just need to appreciate them.

My Super Sweet Sixteen:  Truth be told, I don’t even know if this show is on MTV anymore, but if it is, I do know that my daughter won’t watch it because I don’t need her thinking that all 16 year-olds get to have these extravagant, wedding-proportion birthday parties.  And these sweet sixteen kids never turn out right.  I know because I supervised one of these spoiled creatures in real life and he’s a terrible human being.  No respect for anything, anyone, or even any of his things as evidenced by this example of his douchebaggery:  Why get a parking permit when they’re free?  No, just keep getting ticket after ticket until your BMW gets towed.  Oh and don’t bother just paying the fee to get your car out of impound.  No, just go out and buy another expensive car.  Baby girl, these people are bad people.  No need to associate with them.

Gossip Girl: I only recently discovered that these oversexed, rich, bar-hopping people are supposed to be in high school.  Um, high school?  My daughter is totally not going there.  I don’t care if it’s the best school in the world.  If she goes there, she’s bound to meet skeezes like this and Daddy doesn’t need that kind of stress.  He’s already bald for Pete’s sake.

WWE Raw: Just because Daddy watches this doesn’t mean that Baby will too.  They are mean to little peopleencourage slutty behavior and do whatever is going on here.  I think that it might just be too much for a little girl to watch.  Thankfully, Daddy agrees.

Days of Our Lives: Similar to WWE Raw, just because Mommy watches DOOL doesn’t mean that Baby will.  Not because of the sex, catfights, or infidelity, mind you.  My mom totally let me watch DOOL growing up.  I loved it so much that I even had a pair of pleather pants that I affectionately referred to as “Bo Brady” pants after my favorite long-haired, motorcycle-riding bad boy.  No, my daughter won’t watch this because of the poor acting and writing.  That show is going downhill fast.

Yo Gabba Gabba: I know that my favorite almost-3-year-old from Virginia loves this show but to be honest, the characters kinda creep me out.  I enjoy that, for some random reason, Biz Markie makes appearances and that they encourage kids to dance and eat their food but if I had to listen to this music every day, I might jam the remote into my ear.  Sorry, Baby.

So what TV shows would I be OK with her watching?   None.  She’s going to read books and play outside.  Television cannot be trusted.


3 Responses to “Parental Control”

  1. Cowgirl Sarah December 22, 2009 at 1:32 pm #

    Toddlers & Tiaras – Giant yuck!

    Baby Einstein – Science says so.

    Always Sunny in Philadelphia – at least until late high school

    NYC Prep – Another giant yuck!

    Just force feed her Saved By the Bell and Full House and she’ll grow up to be as well-adjusted and full of mischief/family values as we all are!

  2. Kristina December 23, 2009 at 8:18 am #

    Well, I’m glad my little one got a shout out in the blog! haha!
    But when your little angel starts driving you crazy, Gabba won’t seem so bad. It’s annoying but it has grown on me. If Gavin is fussy and I can’t seem to calm him down – Gabba Gabba will always catch his attention…and I…love it!

    And I can NOT believe that your hubby watches WWE – it is way worse than DOOL!


  1. Here’s a mitt, Kid, catch a clue. « 141characters - February 9, 2010

    […] “But I don’t wanna take a nap!” Remember my favorite almost-three-year-old from Virginia?  Well she’s three now and all that means is that she still doesn’t want to take a nap […]

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