Not My reality (Part II)

6 Jan

Last week I wrote about some reality shows that stand out in my mind for pushing the envelope a little.  There’s actually not really any unifying theme to them, other than ridiculousness, but here are a few I left out.

Millionaire Matchmaker – This is my absolute favorite reality show and I could not be happier that Season 3 starts in t minus 2 weeks.  This woman, Patti Stanger, is a 3rd generation matchmaker, so she says in the opening credits.  Really she is a nosy Jewish lady who brilliantly started a dating service exclusively for multi-millionaires.  These men (and a few women, watch out!) shell out hundreds of thousands of dollars to sit down with Patti and tell her what they are looking for like they are ordering a sandwich at Jimmy Johns.  Then Patti holds extensive auditions where young women from all over LA show up in their blondest hair and tannest skin and shortest skirts because they think that maybe they will “find love” with a rich guy.  All of this is entertaining on it’s own, but Patti also constantly gives people dating advice, and that is putting it mildly.  She tells them how to look, what to say, and regularly hands out smackdowns to anyone who doesn’t follow her rules.  You get to watch these people go on incredibly lavish dates with helicopter tours, private islands, and all kinds of rented-out spaces for romantic picnics (parks, zoos, galleries, spas).  The moral is, personal jet or not, first dates are awkward, but they are much more hilarious to watch when you know they’ve cost someone half a million dollars.

The Moment of Truth – This show was so painful and awful that I’ve only seen about 15 minutes of it.  But I do know this: if you would trade your family and all those you love for $500,000 (probably more like $250,000 after taxes, if they even let you take it home all at once) then this is the show for you.  On the other hand, if you are the kind of guy to go behind your wife’s back and film yourself with prostitutes, then you may also be the kind to admit to doing so on television for a sum of money that would buy a lot more prostitutes.

Steven Seagal Lawman – I only recently learned about this and haven’t seen it yet, but how would you like to get pulled over for speeding by Steven Seagal??  It is crazy to me that if you are Steven Seagal you can pretty much have any job you want.  “Steve Seagall: Food Scientist” “Steven Seagal: Soft Rock Guitarist” In this show Steven Seagal rides around with actual cops arresting people for minor offenses and occasionally beating people with a pool ball wrapped up in a towel.

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4 Responses to “Not My reality (Part II)”

  1. summer January 6, 2010 at 9:24 am #

    Steven Segal does more than just ride around with cops – he is an actual cop! And has been one for years. I’ve only seen one episode, but it was pretty entertaining. Mostly domestic issues, then it gets resolved b/c the lady wants a pic with Steven.

  2. Cowgirl Sarah January 6, 2010 at 10:59 am #

    I also love Millionaire Matchmaker! The guys on that show are such dirtbags. If you have that much money and you can’t get a golddigger on your own, then you must be truly terrible to be around. I mean, I could put up with a lot of irritating people for that kind of money!

  3. Chad January 6, 2010 at 11:18 am #

    Oh Patti Stanger……

    Love Millionaire Matchmaker! I love that now that she is engaged she throws that in their faces!

    • 141characters January 6, 2010 at 7:19 pm #

      I know! Remember when that tramp last season told Patti that she couldn’t even set herself up? Take that.

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