As an adorable pregnant housewife, I tend to keep my TV on for a good portion of the day. Oftentimes, I’m not even watching it but the sounds keep me company as I do other housewife-y things like cook, clean, and nap. But occasionally I do stop to watch a little something and they are usually as seen on TV product commercials. I just can’t resist examining the crap that the TV is trying to sell me now. People must actually buy these items because the TV keeps selling them; so today, I’m going to explore a few for you. We are all painfully aware of the Snuggie (or, my favorite, the WTF Blanket) and the Magic Bullet (which I know looks awesome on the half hour long infomercial but trust me, it’s not, it just purees everything. It made a great coffee bean grinder though until it conked out three years after I received it for Christmas), so I tried to explore ones that were new to me and hopefully new to you.
By watching these commercials, I’ve found that the key to marketing an as seen on TV product is making the task at hand look completely impossible, no matter how easy it really is in real life. I don’t know about you but I’ve never struggled with a soap dispenser or dish soap quite like these people do.
It’s a pillow! It’s a pet! Pillow Pets! Um, clever jingle, Pillow Pets. Did you get Jesse and Joey of Double J Creative Services to help you out with that one? I can’t really find anything too wrong with the Pillow Pets other than if I were a parent, I wouldn’t want one more stupid stuffed animal in my house. I don’t know what kind of voodoo magic stuffed animals have over kids but if there is one within eye sight of a kid, they automatically need to have it. I guess at least this one is actually useful in that it is a pillow, too. Nevertheless, I still plan to shield my daughter away from commercials like these and Build-a-Bear workshop at the mall.
Perfect Brownie Pan
How hard is it to cut brownies? Not that hard! It’s called cooking spray people. Pam if you’re a brand name buyer. I also love how the Perfect Brownie Pan pretends that it invented marble brownies and the idea of adding M&Ms to brownies but whatever. The biggest bunch of shenanigans about the Perfect Brownie Pan is the fact that it claims that everyone clamors for the edge brownies. FALSE! No one ever wants the edges, they want a moist center brownie. I’m pretty sure that I’m the only person in the world who vies for the corner pieces of the brownie pan. I love the crusty, chewy edge pieces. And, oh no you didn’t just compare the ease of the Perfect Brownie Pan to the ease of making ice cubes! That’s it—I’m not buying the Perfect Brownie Pan. I HATE making ice cubes. Such a pain. Everyone should have an ice maker, it’s like the best invention in the world next to paper towels. But if you’re intrigued by the Perfect Brownie Pan, I will let you know that my sister got it for Christmas and it actually does work, unlike the Magic Bullet.
Big Top Cupcake Pan
You know what, cakes are tough and so are cupcakes, so let’s combine these impossible baked goods together into one massive cupcake cake by using the Big Top Cupcake Pan. Fill, bake, and decorate! Just like a regular cupcake pan! Isn’t this just like America taking something that doesn’t require improvement and making it bigger? And for what purpose? Simply to make it bigger. You do get a bonus item when you purchase the Big Top Cupcake pan: nondescript animal cookie cut outs! A bonus indeed.
Is your house one big doggie bathroom? Then you are GROSS! And horrible at training your dog. You know where is a safe place for your dog to relieve itself? OUTSIDE! I’ve never been a big fan of cats, mainly because they don’t really need you or love you but mostly because they do their bidness inside the house in a litter box. The thought of an animal’s excrement being inside my house for an extended period of time makes me gag. I always thought to myself: “Self, at least dogs do their bidness outside… and love you.” Well now, thanks to Potty Patch, dogs are allowed to do their bidness inside. No thanks, Potty Patch. You’re gross.
Did you see any products that you liked? Good news is that no matter what you want, it’s only going to cost you $19.99 plus shipping and handling.