Phil, I Got You Babe

2 Feb

I read this article last week about how PETA—you know those crazies, right?  The ones who ask D-list “celebrities” to pose naked to encourage the rest of us who can’t afford fur to not wear fur? — wants to replace the furry Punxsutawney Phil, of Groundhog Day fame, with a robotic groundhog.  They contend that he is being unfairly held captive and then (for shame) being subjected to bright lights, loud noises, and crowds (once a year, mind you).  However, the article goes on to state that William Deeley, president of the Inner Circle of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club (I wonder what it’s like to be in the inner circle of the groundhog!), says the animal is “being treated better than the average child in Pennsylvania.” I grew up in Pennsylvania, he’s right.  The article continues to report: “the groundhog is kept in a climate-controlled environment and is inspected annually by the state Department of Agriculture.”  They neglected to mention that Phil also gets to live with his lovely wife Phyllis in a local library during the rest of the year.  Love, air conditioning, free medical care, doesn’t sound like a bad life to me!

I don’t know if it’s because I both grew up and went to college only an hour each from Punxsutawney, PA (yes, some people go to college only an hour away from Boston or New York City, no, not me, I went to college an hour away from the Weather Capital of the World), but I feel very passionate about this preposterous idea.  Actually, no that doesn’t have anything to do with it; I’m passionate about it because who wants a bunch of robotic groundhogs running around?!  It’s already terrifying enough that aliens and zombies are going to take over the world someday, I don’t need animatronic groundhogs added to the list.

And let’s be honest, folks, if Phil had been left to his own devices in the wilderness of Pennsylvania, he’d be dead already.  A coyote, bear, shotgun, or pick-up would’ve ended his little life long ago.  The Inner Circle of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club is doing this little guy a favor by holding him captive.

I’m sure if we could put one of those voice devices on Phil, like the one the dogs wear in Up, I’m sure his response to this whole thing would be: “Eff off, PETA.  Oh, and Happy Groundhog Day!”


46 Responses to “Phil, I Got You Babe”

  1. Matt May February 2, 2010 at 9:55 am #

    Thank goodness Phil isn’t a beaver . . . or knows what kind of ads PETA would come up with.

  2. mrs zack morris February 2, 2010 at 9:56 am #

    I just read that the one PETA lady was quoted as saying that a robotic Phil is possible because of the technology in movies.
    I guess that just means I’ll be traveling to see Robotic Phil next year in my flying Delorean…

  3. david hennessey February 2, 2010 at 10:57 am #

    I read that the ground hog is getting “treated better than the average child in Pennsylvania.” If that is the case Yikes! what is happening in our world.

    Thanks for sharing – your well written post and congrats to being on the wordpress home page


    • mondoo February 2, 2010 at 5:38 pm #

      Thanks for reading, David! Please stop back to 141characters!

  4. Michael February 2, 2010 at 12:17 pm #

    From my vantage point here in Norfolk, Virginia, the world headquarters of PETA (People Embarrassing the Tidewater Area) I would like to share my outrage at what goes on in Pennsylvania each year on this date. All those bright lights must be so traumatic for the groundhog. As PETA would point out, bright lights and screeching tires on a rural road would be better for Phil. There is good news, at least for those of us in southeastern Virginia. PETA is moving their headquarters to California! Rock on Phil, see you next year!

    • mondoo February 2, 2010 at 5:41 pm #

      Sarcasm, love it, Michael! Thanks for reading and commenting!

  5. Angeline M February 2, 2010 at 12:26 pm #

    I’m with you David Hennessey. Instead of contacting PETA maybe CPS (child protective services) should be contacted.

  6. 1dental February 2, 2010 at 12:40 pm #

    lol, great post! Phil is such an icon, how could he ever be replaced by a robot? Ridiculous!

    • mondoo February 2, 2010 at 5:42 pm #

      Preach on, 1dental!! Haha. Please stop back to 141characters!

  7. Tara Aarness February 2, 2010 at 12:40 pm #

    Read that same article and I fully agree with you! Frankly, I’m jealous of the little guy; sounds like he’s got a better living environment than I do (don’t get me wrong, I do love my life and home, but living inside a library sounds like heaven! Lol)

    • mondoo February 2, 2010 at 5:43 pm #

      Agreed, Tara, thanks for commenting, please stop back!

      • Sarah Wilderrol February 2, 2010 at 10:07 pm #

        Tara, I’m with you! If I could be reincarnated as the little marmot I’d say this life was a pretty good one… Long live non-animatronic weather prediction superstitions!

  8. quinntessentiallyme February 2, 2010 at 1:20 pm #

    That was a hilarious post. Why is PETA just now standing up for Phil? Remember the movie Ground Hog Day? Phil was pulled out of his hole for weeks and I doubt they were following any ground hog labor rules, to insure his safety.

    It’s a sad day in America when we’re not allowed to find out how much longer we have to endure the winter cold, just because a marmot might get his coat ruffled, from a pair of gloved hands.

    • mondoo February 2, 2010 at 5:44 pm #

      Right on, quinntessentiallyme! Thanks and stop back to 141characters!

  9. La La February 2, 2010 at 2:05 pm #


    • mondoo February 2, 2010 at 5:40 pm #

      Thanks so much! Please stop back to 141characters!

  10. Gloris February 2, 2010 at 2:43 pm #

    I’m glad Punxsutawny Phil has such a good life off season. Love his movie. I think Bill Murray was in that, too. 🙂

  11. Alex February 2, 2010 at 4:08 pm #

    “I don’t know if it’s because I both grew up and went to college only an hour each from Punxsutawney, PA…” Yeah, that might be part of it. But the fact that you don’t know bap about animals–I don’t care how much you like a smirky, sheepheaded tradition, or that movie–surely accounts for some of it. You’re not cute. If Phil could talk, he would tell YOU to eff off, and he’d tell you to be embarrassed at how boring and unoriginal you are in haw-haw-hawing about PETA. That’s soooooo yesterday, (expletive deleted b/c 141characters doesn’t roll like that)!

    • mondoo February 2, 2010 at 4:53 pm #

      I knew PETA would find me! I don’t agree with this comment, especially since this blog is written in jest and its subject matter is meant to be both humorous and sarcastic, but I will allow it. Oh and you’re wrong about one thing, I’m totally cute.

    • Beefer February 2, 2010 at 5:03 pm #

      Jeez, Alex. You escalated things to swearing rather quickly, didn’t you? Looks like Punxsutawney Phil isn’t the only smelly little rodent who crawled out of the woodwork today!

      Just remember PETA, when the Day of Reckoning arrives and the Groundhog Robots rise up against us (as they most certainly will), their thirst for human blood will be quenched by the flesh of friend and foe alike.

    • vitamin g February 2, 2010 at 6:37 pm #

      Bap? Eff? Haw-haw-hawing? Mondoo please tell me you replaced other expletives with this nonsense. And if Phil could talk he’d definitely say, “Soon as he buy that wine I just creep up from behind and ask what your interests are, who you be with, things to make you smile, what numbers to dial, you gon’ be here for a while, I’m gon’ go call my crew you go call your crew, we can rendezvous at the bar around two”

  12. sartrekk February 2, 2010 at 5:08 pm #

    I have no affiliation with PETA–I just don’t like your tone, mondoo. Sorry for the expletive.

    • mondoo February 2, 2010 at 5:18 pm #

      Apology accepted, Alex. New readers don’t know that it’s all humor and sarcasm around these parts.

  13. sartrekk February 2, 2010 at 5:30 pm #

    I love humor and sarcasm! Is that what it was? My mistake.

    • mondoo February 2, 2010 at 5:31 pm #

      Yes, it’s ok, even pretentious people get confused sometimes.

  14. Matt May February 2, 2010 at 5:33 pm #

    Hey Mondoo . . . you’ve got your first hater. Congrats — looks like you’ve made it!

    • mondoo February 2, 2010 at 5:35 pm #

      I know, Matt! I’m big time now!

  15. jstjessie February 2, 2010 at 9:03 pm #

    wow, PETA really is crazy, one time some people came and vandalized our school and put PETA everywhere and was like dont eat chicken or something like that. Gosh, those people are… seriously crazy.

    • mondoo February 3, 2010 at 8:02 am #

      If they could only realize that their crazy alienates potential supporters in their crusade against the world… thanks for sharing jstjessie! Please stop back!

  16. Kerri February 2, 2010 at 10:25 pm #

    I wonder if Shamu or other animal celebrities have an “inner circle”…

    Oh, also, have I mentioned recently how hilarious and cute you are? Consider this that mention.

    • mondoo February 3, 2010 at 7:57 am #

      Kerri, have I mentioned lately that you are awesome? Consider this that mention.

  17. kissthebunny February 2, 2010 at 11:40 pm #

    haha, this blog post made my day.

    • mondoo February 3, 2010 at 7:58 am #

      Glad to hear it, kissthebunny, please stop back!

  18. shirley caldwell February 3, 2010 at 3:23 am #

    This idea of transparency in the White it really a good idea? There are pros and cons you know. Talk to me somebody!

  19. dressingmyself February 3, 2010 at 3:56 am #

    When I read pronouncements such as the PETA one you are ‘discussing’, I often wonder if the organisation or individual really knows the full story. Not that I know the full story, but I try not to pontificate.
    Funny blog.

    • mondoo February 3, 2010 at 7:59 am #

      It’s all about fun(ny) and games here at 141characters, thanks for reading, please stop back!

  20. Eliza Dashwood February 3, 2010 at 5:33 am #

    All Hail Phil…

    ps. don’t forget your booties ’cause it’s cold outside…

  21. slamdunk February 3, 2010 at 6:52 am #

    Well said. Yea Phil…

    • mondoo February 3, 2010 at 7:59 am #

      Many thanks, slamdunk, please stop back to 141characters!

  22. dan February 3, 2010 at 8:04 am #

    REally like what ur saying

    • mondoo February 3, 2010 at 8:14 am #

      Thanks Dan! I really like that you like it… please stop back to 141characters!

  23. Cowgirl Sarah February 3, 2010 at 10:48 am #

    Oh Mondoo, thanks for the controversy to brighten what would have ordinarily been a very dull Wednesday morning!

    Also, I love the word pretentious and you pretty much just used it in the best way possible! Well played, very well played.

    • mondoo February 5, 2010 at 8:30 am #

      No problem, Cowgirl Sarah, I do what I can to brighten everyone’s day. Actually that’s my main purpose in writing this blog 😉


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