Another week, another Mondoo’s Mailbag. Thanks to the lovely ladies below for sending in some questions. Keep them coming folks! Otherwise, Mondoo’s Mailbag will cease to exist and I don’t have enough ideas to post each week without it. Nevertheless, if you have questions for Mondoo send them in via comments or by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org.
Our first question this week come from Kerri:
“Do you have any favorite Disney songs?”
For some reason, I was really struggling with this response. All I had was a link to this video:
And then Mr. Mondoo grabbed the laptop when I went to ready myself for bed:
“Mondoo and I don’t disagree on much, but one thing we do is the “magic” of Disney. Mondoo’s wardrobe might have consisted entirely of hand-me-downs, but that’s only because two-thirds of the family income was budgeted to the Disney Channel (can you believe suckers used to pay for this like it was HBO or NFL Sunday Ticket) and trips to Disneyworld (Mondoo cries poor but her family totally took four vacations to Orlando!—a big vacation for my family was a hotel with an indoor pool in which Mrs. Zack Morris and I could swallow a bunch of chlorinated water and puke). I grew up in a decidedly anti-Disney environment. My father was exclusively Looney Tunes loyal. He told us the same things about Disney that I imagine Kirk Cameron tells his children about the scientific method. Anywho, that’s a long way of saying that I hate Disney. But I love attention. So when our fifth grade chorus offered solos for Hakuna Matata, I jumped at the opportunity. All I had to sing say was “Hakuna Matata, what a wonderful phrase.” Not exactly Michael Jackson in “We are the World,” but I was going to get my name in the program. So Hakuna Matata quickly became my all-time favorite Disney song. Unfortunately, my stage debut was scuttled by a lack of intestinal fortitude. It wasn’t nerves, but the after-effects of a cafeteria lunch. Remember when I said Mondoo and I don’t disagree on much? Add mixing three pads of butter with your school spaghetti to that list.”
So that response will have to do.
Next a question from my former co-blogger, Vitamin G, remember her? I do.
“Mondoo, why do you think child actors grow up to be such lunatics? Do you plan on exposing your child to stardom from an early age to fulfill your latent dreams of fame? What if your baby is freakishly good at something, like those baby Chinese acrobats?”
Child actors grow up to be such lunatics because they are all self-centered, little brats who’ve grown up doing whatever they want, whenever they want because everyone, especially their parents, are afraid to tell them no. That and their parents are bat-shit insane. I especially hate when I hear the parents of child stars say: “I didn’t force her into this; she came to me one day and told me this was her dream.” Oh yeah? Her dream at four-years-old? At the age of four, I wasn’t dreaming about starring in a commercial and recording my own album. I was dreaming about what presents Santa was bringing me for Christmas, owning a puppy someday, or what fun thing I was going to learn on Mister Rogers (“Well, a couple weeks ago, he showed me how crayons were made, and then yesterday was how they make peanut butter, I wonder what it will be next week!”). But you bring up an interesting point. What if Baby Girl is freakishly good at something? In inquired with Mr. Mondoo: “Yeah our baby is going to be freakishly good… looking.” Well then who am I to deny the world of her adorableness? Baby model here she comes!
Our final question this week comes from the lovely Kristina:
I ran across Kathy Griffin on TV the other day. She has a huge love/hate relationship with celebrities…which made me think of you. How do you feel about Kathy?
You know, I’ve really never given Kathy Griffin serious thought. But since you asked… I really appreciate that she speaks her mind honestly about celebrities and issues but does so intelligently. So many comedians, bloggers, pundits, etc. just run their mouths about things. Kathy sure loves to run her mouth but she usually does it with some sort of intent. And she makes no apologies because it’s not her fault if you don’t get her sense of humor. But the thing that I love most about Kathy Griffin is her ongoing affiliation with Anderson Cooper. Until recently when she dropped the F-bomb on the New Year’s Eve broadcast, CNN has continually paired her with the lovable silver fox (evidentiary clips here and here and here). Wow, I love me some Anderson Cooper. And here is why:
Why Mondoo Loves Anderson Cooper:
1) He co-hosts on Live with Regis and Kelly from time to time and increases the humor of the show exponentially.
3) He’s hilarious.
5) He’s so well-rounded. As I mentioned earlier, he watches reality TV and also travels the globe, is addicted to something called crack pie, and saves little boys from earthquake-ravaged countries. Is there anything this man can’t do? I think not.
6) He is a Channel One News alum. Did you all have Channel One in junior high and high school? We sure did. That young adults news source sure did spawn some of the world’s greatest journalists: Aforementioned Anderson Cooper, Serene Altschul, Lisa Ling and then Wikipedia tells me, also Ryan Seacrest and Maria Menounos. Oh and Rawley Valverde. Never heard of him? Wikipedia hasn’t either, he has no entry. I remember you though, Rawley.
So, in short, if Anderson Cooper is OK with Kathy Griffin, then I am, too.
Ok readers, remember, if you have a question for Mondoo, please send it in via the comments section below or by emailing email@example.com!