Valentine’s Day is a day all about love. But in typical Mondoo fashion, that doesn’t mean that I can’t find some things that I hate about it. So in honor of Valentine’s Day on Sunday, I bring to you this week’s edition of Love/Hate.
1) Presents. Who doesn’t love presents? I mean really. I don’t care what it is either. Yeah yeah, I know a lot of people say that, especially at Valentine’s Day and then the significant other doesn’t come through with the bouquet of flowers or jewelry that you really wanted and you’re way pissed. I swear that I’m not like that. I’m not too picky when it comes to presents. It’s really the thought that counts. And that’s the truth. Listen to what Mr. Mondoo got me for Valentine’s Day this year and you’ll believe me. All I really wanted this year for Valentine’s Day were these delectable chocolate covered strawberries from a local chocolatier (I love that word, by the way). They are so amazing and unlike any chocolate covered strawberry that I’ve ever had; the secret, there’s a layer of cream in between the strawberry and chocolate… sooooo good. Well, Mr. Mondoo visited the chocolatier at the local farmer’s market a whole nine days ahead of time to order some for his valentine (me) only to find out that they start making them in April. Wah wah. Never fear! While he was at the market, he discovered my favorite, not-so-easily-found-here-in-West Virginia potato chips and bought them for me. He whipped up some homemade French onion dip and presented me with this gift last weekend, a whole week early. What a man! Of course, I’m six months pregnant so he really could’ve gotten me just about any type of food and I’d fall in love with him all over again.
2) Chocolate. Oh how I love chocolate! Really any kind of chocolate anything (molten chocolate cake, brownies, chocolate candies, bar chocolate, hot chocolate, s’mores, chocolate ice cream, and the list goes on). One of my inconsequential bucket list items involves eating an entire box of chocolates like they do on TV and in the movies. Seriously, I’d love to purchase one of those large heart boxes of assorted chocolates and sit down one day and eat the whole thing. Well, maybe not the whole thing. Some of those assorted chocolates are really gross. Especially the ones that have liquid fruit in them (I know that Vitamin G is with me on this one). Blech! My favorite though, hands down, vanilla cream.
3) Giving Valentines. I love nothing more than giving valentines. Mainly because I’m crafty and love making handmade cards. This is one of the reasons that I miss grade school so much. Remember how the week leading up to Valentine’s Day, we would all make our little valentine receptacles out of paper bags or boxes, construction paper and doilies? And then on Valentine’s Day we’d pass out our cartoony valentines with lollipops attached? Man, those were the days! I guess this is just another reason why I’m super excited to have kids. Some people live vicariously through their children and push them into singing or dancing. Nah, not me, I’m pushing Baby into crafting adorable valentines for her class.
4) Special Occasion Restaurants. Ok, I misspoke last week when I hailed Super Bowl Sunday as the only eating holiday post-Christmas season. I was wrong. That almost never happens. However, Valentine’s Day is also another perfect excuse to eat good/bad for you things. It’s also a fabulous excuse to visit one of those special occasion restaurants that are too expensive to dine at weekly (or even monthly). Mr. Mondoo and I have date night at least once a week but we’re definitely way too thrifty to visit these special occasion restaurants if it’s not a birthday, anniversary, or if we’re invited by another couple and don’t want to seem cheap. But all bets are off on Valentine’s Day. I can’t wait to eat delicious food by candlelight and take a huge debit from our checking account. Ah, Valentine’s Day!
1) Haters. You know the type. The people who can’t wait to ruin your Valentine’s Day buzz by being completely bitter. They are also the people who love the term “Singles Awareness Day.” Listen here haters, I realize that Valentine’s Day has this connotation that it’s solely a day for those in romantic relationships but that’s completely untrue. Valentine’s Day is all about love. Love can exist between friends and family, not just significant others. In the words of a wise sage (otherwise known as Vitamin G), “you can spend the day celebrating with people you love, even if you are not banging them.” Yes! Yes you can! Go to dinner with a friend. Buy valentines for your family. Sure, Valentine’s Day may be some manufactured, Hallmark holiday but it can be fun, too… if you let it. Don’t be such a Grumpy Gus. And don’t ruin it for people who are in love. That’s bad karma for someone looking for love.
2) Heart-shaped jewelry. I watch a lot of TV. I can’t help it, I’m unemployed. There are so many commercials for national and local jewelry stores offering specials on various heart-shaped pieces of jewelry. Barf. Fine jewelry should be elegant, not the expensive version of something that you could buy at Claires.
3) Valentine apparel… on adults. I’m all about Valentine’s apparel on children, you know, because they are kids and have no control over how you dress them. But when it comes to adults, honestly, they shouldn’t be wearing any sort of holiday apparel at all. I, somehow, never got to proclaim my disgust for the holiday sweater during the holiday season so I’ll use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to do just that. Yeah, I’m talking to you, middle-aged women (I’d like to think/hope that women in their 20s and 30s know better than to don themselves in holiday apparel). Why do you insist on wearing glittery, sequined holiday sweaters? They don’t look good…. on anyone. Do you want to dress festively for the holidays? Try just wearing the colors of the season or adding an appropriate pop of Valentine’s Day color to your regular wardrobe (examples: a sassy red sweater, a pink scarf, red shoes, etc.).
4) Red roses and stuffed animals. There is nothing more contrived than red roses and stuffed animals gifted on Valentine’s Day. Except for maybe the dialogue on Gilmore Girls. Red roses are so cliché. If I’m given flowers, I much prefer an arrangement of assorted colorful flowers. And let’s talk about the stuffed animals. I loved stuffed animals… when I was eight. What the hell are you supposed to do with a stuffed gorilla holding a heart on February 15th? I mean, honestly. Give me a bag of potato chips any day.
Happy Valentine’s Day from 141characters!