As always, Mr. Mondoo sends me the perfect news articles for my varied interests. Last week it was a runaway pig and donuts, this week college crime conspiracies involving painted chickens. I think that I’ve mentioned before that I used to work in higher education. I’d like to think that I’ve seen it all during my five-year tenure, but, one thing that I’ve never seen? Painted chickens running through the student center. And it’s a good thing, too, because I wouldn’t want to deal with the utter craziness of the woman who ended up with the chickens.
The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette writes:
“But Beth McMaster, a wildlife rehabilitator in Butler County who is caring for the birds, two of whom are sick, said it strikes her as a case of animal cruelty. She said the school owes the public an accounting of what happened and should punish whoever is responsible.
‘I would think if they’re serious about this and they want to get to the bottom of it, somebody would have called to inquire about how they’re doing,’ she said.
‘Do they want to keep these things quiet? Is it routine for a college to hide crime? I mean, I think it’s a crime,” she said. “I’d love to see this go public, because this … shouldn’t be tolerated at these schools or anywhere else.'”
Two pieces of advice, and lord knows, Mondoo LOVES giving away free advice:
First for Carnegie Mellon University, next time you find painted chickens in your student center, do a background check on the animal caregiver who you’re turning the chickens over to and choose someone who isn’t obviously cuckoo.
Second for Beth McMaster, get a life, this isn’t some sorta grand conspiracy. The institution has already stated that they are conducting an investigation, everyone is cooperating, and if any crime has been committed (which they have not yet determined has actually happened), the students will be processed through the disciplinary system. Sounds like it’s being handled to me. And really, Ms. McMaster, speaking from experience, colleges have bigger fish (or chicken) to fry.
Well, thank goodness.