Stay out of it, Nick Lachey

25 Mar

Mondoo loves giving advice.  You know that from my post yesterday.  Advice on NCAA brackets (again, I apologize for that), advice on Lenten activities, advice on festival foods, advice on dressing for special occasions, advice on college promotional videos, the list goes on.

Well, I found out this past weekend that I’m not the only one who loves to give advice.  Let me set the scene:

The first day of Spring.  Perfect day for spring cleaning, no?  Mr. Mondoo and I hunkered down on arguably one of the nicest days that we’ve had this year and cleaned our rented townhouse from top to bottom:  A) Because it needed it, B) Because I’ve made it my mission to have this place spic, span, and disinfected before Baby gets here in eight weeks.  No matter the level of cleaning, our carpets are still gonna be gross.  They could really stand to be replaced but that’s a pretty heavy request to make to a landlord who frequently doesn’t call you back and also refuses to mow your little patch of grass.

So, off I go to the local Foodland to pick up some of that Resolve Carpet Cleaner that I’ve seen on the TV.  Standing in line at the checkout, a gentleman, probably in his late 50s, turns around, examines my purchase, looks at me with a critical eye and states: “That doesn’t work.”

Mondoo: “Oh yeah?  Well, I’m kinda in a bind and need some carpet cleaner, it’s all they’ve got.”

Foodland Man: “Well, it’s not gonna get your stains out.” (For the record, the product doesn’t claim to get stains out.  It claims to “deep clean” your carpet.)

Mondoo: “To be honest with you sir, I’m not looking for it to get any stains out, I just need it to moderately clean my carpet.”

Foodland Man: “Well it’s not worth a nickel.”

(I give him a half-smile which hopefully signals: “I don’t wish to discuss this matter with you any further.”)  No dice.

Foodland Man: “You’re still gonna buy it?!”

Mondoo: “Well… yeah?”

He delivers an eye roll, head shake, and an exasperated “Pfft!” in my general direction, pays the cashier, and huffs off.  But you see, the difference between my advice and this random, disgruntled, misinformed man at the Foodland is this:  my advice is almost always correct.  His, however, was not.  My carpets are cleaner and so are this lady’s.  So, MY advice for you, Foodland Man, know your product before you start accosting pregnant ladies in grocery stores.

You know who else likes giving advice?  Nick Lachey.

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One Response to “Stay out of it, Nick Lachey”

  1. Mrs Zack Morris March 25, 2010 at 11:25 am #

    Um, I also used Resolve to clean up a mishap on the carpet my house and it totally worked. And you better believe I got rid of the black, loose glitter, eyeshadow. Tsk Tsk for buying that hazard. Mrs. Zack Morris FAIL.

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