Mondoo’s Mailbag

3 May

This week’s only mailbag question comes from Vitamin G who is obviously feeling guilty for leaving me high and dry with baby brain and a blog to write so she graciously threw me this mailbag bone.  She’s the best—thanks G! (Kristina, I’m aware that you also submitted a couple questions but I’m currently using them as fodder for another blog post… if I can focus long enough to write it).

“This is a follow-up to your Usher update.  Just as you predicted, Usher resurfaced with “Daddy’s Home” and probably some other things that are not on VH1 every morning.  What do you think of “Daddy’s Home”?  I have two issues with it.  One is that the video features sexy women dancing around in leotards.  If music video features could be patented, Beyonce would have all rights to ladies dancing in leotards, and Usher would be in Chinatown peddling his cheap leotard dancing on sidewalks.  Another issue I have with this song transcends Usher’s repertoire.  I think it is SO creepy and gross when men are called “daddy” by women who are not their young children (or at least when children or pets are not referred to in the conversation).  And here Usher is, all handsome and suave, ready to spend some quality time with his honey and makes it clear that he wants to be thought of as her daddy.  I get it, Usher.  You have a lot of money.  You can provide for a woman. You are the man.  But nothing would make me less romantically interested in a man than him comparing himself to my father.  Mondoo, what do you think about both Usher’s new song/video and the whole “daddy” thing?”

(Note to readers: I added some links to Vitamin G’s question in case you live under a rock and didn’t know what songs she was referring to, you’re welcome).

OMG, I’m with you.  I’ve been totally creeped out by the term “daddy” used in this context ever since I heard Twista’s “Wetter.”  Well, to be honest, at first I thought she was asking Twista to be her diddy, as in Diddy.  But then I realized that she was saying “daddy” and then I got creeped out.  I, too, do not understand why this term is utilized.  I have one Daddy and he took me on hikes, read me stories, threatened to shoot my boyfriends with guns, and walked me down the aisle to Mr. Mondoo, who is not my new Daddy.  He’s Baby’s Daddy, not mine.  Although, now that I think of it, I wouldn’t mind if he taught himself to dance like Ur-sher.

(Note to Vitamin G:  This is where I totally veer off from answering your question and start writing a post about rap music.   Baby brain makes it incredibly hard to focus… on anything… even answering mailbag questions).

Speaking of creepy, have you heard Ur-sher’s other new jame “Lil’ Freak?”  The video is kinda scary and the lyrics are dirty, but the beat is siiiick!  Check it out!

Ur-sher also just released this jam “OMG:”

I dunno if it’s the baby brain or what but each time I hear it, I have a different feeling.  At first, I was like “this song is super lame, he’s overusing auto-tune like Kayne, and hey, aren’t those the strobe lights from ‘Yeah?'”  But then I just listened to it and was like “OK, it’s not that bad.  Baby and I could dance to that.”  I’m obviously conflicted.  141characters readers, what are your thoughts?

Here are my two major thoughts on Ur-sher’s comeback (Yes, Ur-sher, it’s a comeback because where the hell have you been since Confessions?  I mean, really):

1) It’s painfully obvious that he’s never going to create an album that touches the greatness of Confessions.  I mean, it was so universally popular that my 57 year-old mother loved and still loves listening to “Yeah.”

2) If you want a successful jam, you have to include Ludacris.  Why you ask?  Well, I’ll tell you because that’s how Mondoo do (when she actually writes blog posts):

-Luda is ALL OVER THE PLACE lately!  And I couldn’t be happier.  Not only does he have his own music out (“How Low” and “My Chick Bad“) but he’s also featured on nearly everyone’s tracks these days, even the Biebs!  By far my favorite Luda collaboration is DJ Khaled’s “All I Do Is Win” feat. Ludacris, Rick Ross, T-Pain & Snoop Dogg (all-star team right there!)

-Luda is a chameleon.  Or should I say Chris “Ludacris” Bridges is a chameleon.  The man can rap, the man can act, and the man can appear on C-SPAN addressing the National Press Club luncheon on taking an active role in community philanthropy.  Wha???

His rhymes are insanely clever.  Albeit a little dirty, but clever nonetheless.  Here’s a clever little snippet from “My Chick Bad:”

“She comin’ out swingin’ like Tiger Woods’ wife
Yeah, she can get a lil’ hasty
Chicks better cover up their chests like pasties
Couple girlfriends and they all a lil’ crazy
Comin’ down the street like a parade, Macy’s
I fill her up, balloons!”

I love using his name in describing situations.  Seriously, I just used it the other day:  “If this baby isn’t here by her due date, that would just be Ludacris!”  Sometimes when I’m not in mixed company (like when I used that phrase at the doctor’s office) I actually like to say “That’s Chris Bridges!”  But I think Mr. Mondoo would be the only one quick enough to understand that play on words so most times, it’s not worth the comical effort.

In other news, I’m totally jealous of Nicki Minaj.  Her rhymes are also clever AND she gets to hang with the likes of Luda and Ur-sher.  And she makes money.  I currently don’t get to do any of those things.  Life is unfair.  Maybe after this baby comes, I’ll pursue a career as Nicki Minaj.  Baby will be so proud of her female rapper mom.  As she should be.

If you’d like to help with my blog block, submit a question to Mondoo’s Mailbag by leaving one in the comment section or by emailing 141characters@gmail.com.  Happy Monday!

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