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Love/Hate: The Super Bowl

5 Feb

Super Bowl XLIV is this Sunday.  Sadly, my team (the Pittsburgh Steelers) is not in the big game this year (yeah I know, they didn’t even make the playoffs, I don’t want to talk about it).  This fact and four other things (see below) make me totally meh about the Super Bowl but there are also many other things (at least five that I can think of, also see below) that make me a little excited for the Super Bowl.  Yes folks, this week’s topic for Love/Hate is, you guessed it, The Super Bowl.

Love:

1)  The Commercials. Stereotypically, most females watch the big game for the commercials.  I love football and all but I am no exception to this rule.  Initially, this is what got me interested in the Super Bowl in the first place.  Regardless of the outcome of the game, most people talk about the commercials the day after at work and such.  I’m still unemployed but I certainly don’t like to be left out (must we remember the travesty of Pancakes?) and for that reason, you can bet your bottom dollar that I’ll be tuning into the commercials to see what they come up with this year.  If you’d like to relive some classic Super Bowl Commercials of the past, check out this, it includes a personal favorite (Budweiser Frogs), Mr. Mondoo’s favorite (The Bud Bowl), and an all-time classic (Three words:  Mean Joe Greene).

2)  The Game. I love football, remember?  So, of course, I love the actual game in addition to the commercials.  Especially because it’s the last football that I’m gonna see until September.  Almost nine months.  That’s a long time, trust me, I’m pregnant, I know all about waiting for something for nine months.  Sometimes the Super Bowl is a huge blow out (more below), BORING.  But sometimes, like in the past few years, the Super Bowl can be a really excellent football game.  Oh?  You don’t believe me, well then I dare you to watch this clip (I apologize in advance for the lame commercial in the beginning of the video.  That little kid seems like a real jerk.  Oh and is your life so tough, little kid, that the only place you can get away and watch your stupid cartoon is in the bathroom?!) and not get excited about the game of football, and more specifically, the exciting game that a Super Bowl can be.

3)  The Food. You know from reading my Love/Hate: Football post that one of my true loves when it comes to football is the food.  In that post I listed all of the wonderful foods that accompany football watching.  Well, guess what?  The Super Bowl is a great excuse to not just eat one or two of those football foods but a great excuse to eat ALL of them.  Plus, winter and early spring are devoid of eating holidays (unless you count chocolate on Valentine’s Day, which I do) and that’s completely unfortunate.  Or fortunate if you’ve actually been successful at your New Year’s Resolution. But for me, The Super Bowl is just another excuse to eat loads of good (and bad for you) food, and trust me, I will.

4)  The Puppy Bowl. Not a fan of football?  Well, are you a fan of adorable puppies?!  Who isn’t?!  Well then do I have a non-football alternative for you, the Puppy Bowl!  Even if you do like football, take a break from eating and football watching and watch these little pups pounce, wrestle, slobber, tip over their water bowls, you name it, it’s adorable.

5)  141characters.com Live Blog. If you couldn’t join us for the Grammy Live Blog Event, the Super Bowl is your next opportunity to be a part of the 141characters live blogging phenomenon.  You can either read along with Mondoo and guests OR you can join in on the live blogging experience as a commentator.  Either way, it’s sure to be a good time.  Just log on to 141characters at 6pm on Sunday and tune into the big game on CBS.

Hate:

1)  The Commercials. Not all commercials can be funny.  There are a lot of “Kristen Wiigs” out there.  A lot of commercials are completely unfunny, some are just racist.  Eeek, Sales Genie.

2)  The Game. As I alluded to earlier, sometimes the big game is a big snoozefest.  Even if your team IS in the Super Bowl… Super Bowl XL anyone?  The Seattle Seahawks can whine all they want about referees but when you really get down to it, the Steelers beat them pretty handily, bad calls or not.  Big Ben had like his worst game of all time and we STILL trounced the Seahawks.

3)  The Half-time Show. I’ve already gotten into it with the half-time show on this blog so I’ll spare you the additional rant, but for all of my thoughts on why the half-time show is completely terrible, check out Coach Mondoo’s Super Bowl Preview.

4)  No Dog in the Fight. No, I’m not talking about the Puppy Bowl.  I’m talking about not being able to root on your home team in the big game.  To be blunt, it sucks, I know.  You feel all meh about who to root for and everyone knows that a game is more fun when you actually have a team to root for.  This year’s Super Bowl is especially hard for me because within the past few years, I’ve grown accustomed to cheering for the Steelers in the Super Bowl.  As for my pick this year, I think Peyton Manning’s commercials are hilarious, but my heart really goes out to New Orleans what with Hurricane Katrina and the fact that this is their first Super Bowl appearance.  I guess if pressed, I’d have to go with the Colts but ultimately, I’d just really like to see the Steelers in the Super Bowl… again.

5)  Kim Kardashian. Ok, hopefully this hate is only specific to this year but since Reggie Bush’s team is in the Super Bowl, how many shots of Kim Kardashian looking happy or anxious from her luxury box are we going to have to endure throughout the Super Bowl this year?  Ugh.  Everyone knows that she doesn’t give a care in the world about football or the Super Bowl.  All she cares about is getting a rock on that finger and baby in her womb.  She’s so over playing second fiddle to her less famous (yet all famous for nothing) sisters.

I hope that you all enjoy the Super Bowl this year and, more importantly, I hope that all of you tune into 141characters Super Bowl Live Blog!

Blame Kristen Wiig

4 Feb

Sometimes it’s tough finding fun weekend activities to do in the winter.  It’s cold, snowy, The Department of Transportation doesn’t plow your road.  This was certainly the case for the Mondoos last weekend.   The weekend started out well as Friday was date night followed by a birthday celebration for Vitamin G, where, incidentally, I FINALLY got to sass a boy in a bar.  First of all, I say boy because honestly, this young man looked as if he were 18 years old.  Second of all, he must have been really drunk because not only was he lying through his teeth about growing up in up-state New York (“Oh yeah, where in upstate?”  “Um, I dunno.”  “You don’t remember where you grew up?”  “Um, no.”) but he failed to notice my giant pregnant belly (or maybe that’s what drew him to me, weirdo).  He eventually grew tired of my disinterest and calling out his lies and said: “Ok, you are either out of my league or just think that you’re out of my league…”  I stopped him and said:  “Oh honey, I’m married, pregnant and TOTALLY out of your league.”  OOO, burn!  Where was Mr. Mondoo during all of this mess?  Flirting with Vitamin G’s boyfriend over the latest news in professional wrestling.

But I digress.  Unfortunately after a fun-filled Friday, Saturday left us snowed in and after successfully reading everything on the internet, watching a movie that made Mr. Mondoo cry, crock potting a delicious pot roast, and unsuccessfully baking chocolate chip cookies, our only option left for fun was tuning in to Saturday Night Live to see if the new year would suddenly make it funny.  Well, news flash.  It still sucks.  And, let’s face it, SNL has sucked for a looooong time.  Occasionally they have a funny skit here or there, but usually all of their funny stuff is contained within the confines of Digital Shorts or Weekend Update.  Most of the skits are lame and after watching the most recent episode, I’m finally ready to proclaim, it’s all Kristen Wiig’s fault.

For some inexplicable reason (although I’ll do my best to surmise), Lorne Michaels has chosen to showcase Kristen Wiig as his primary female cast member.  The only problem is that Kristen Wiig is completely unfunny.

Let’s explore (NBC won’t let me embed videos, probably because they are so hilarious that they don’t want them to be easily played everywhere, so you’ll need to click on the links to watch the videos, wah wah):

Penelope

Ok, yes, we ALL know one of these people:  the one-upper.  But has an experience with a one-upper EVER been funny in real life?  NO.  It’s incredibly annoying and uncomfortable.  Much like Kristen Wigg’s recurring character of Penelope.

Gilly

I checked out SNL’s Christmas special this year, hoping for some classic (and funny) holiday sketches from years past and instead I was met with the host for the Christmas special:  Gilly.   As if that wasn’t bad enough, there were like ten Gilly sketches during the entire special.  Dear SNL writers, what is funny about Gilly?  She’s a mean “little girl” whose only retort is a lispy: “Sorry.”  Writing FAIL.

Ski Resort

Yes, Kristen Wiig is annoying but SNL is just annoying in general.  ALL sketches last far too long, even the funny ones, case in point, the above clip.   Some sketches start out funny (even some, maybe just this one, with Kristen Wiig) and then last so unbearably long that you forgot that it once used to be funny and now you’re just bored.

1920s Party

“Don’t make me sing.”  Ugh, don’t make me change the channel.  As if it isn’t obvious by now, all of Kristen Wiig’s characters are the same.  She uncontrollably turns her head from side to side, speaks all fast but in a hushed tone, and darts her beady eyes in all directions.  If it weren’t for the change in wigs and costume, the audience would never know that we’ve moved on to a new sketch.

Let’s be honest, folks, Kristen Wiig is terribly unfunny.  It’s very obvious to me that she is simply trying to follow in the footsteps of her equally unfunny SNL foremothers Molly Shannon and Cheri Oteri.  Ms. Wiig, these two ladies spent their SNL years playing the same, unfunny characters over and over again and look how their careers turned out.  I’d be careful if I were you.

Kristen Wiig is such a one-trick pony.  Just like a blogger who writes about the same three ideas day in and day out… wait a second…  Holding down a blog on your own and posting everyday is tough!  I can’t help it if some weeks all I do is complain about celebrities, fantasize about food, and then do it again the next two days, rounding out the week with a sub-par edition of Love/Hate.  So, yeah, sorry, Kristen Wiig. I was kinda hard on you today.

Mondoo’s Mailbag

3 Feb

It’s been a couple weeks but I’ve finally procured enough mailbag questions for a healthy mailbag post this week.  Remember, if you would like to submit a question to Mondoo, simply leave it in the comment section of this post or email 141characters@gmail.com!

Our first question comes from Vitamin G.  Remember her?!  From 141characters blogger to 141characters loyal reader, she’s the best: Mondoo, what the heck happened to Usher?  I mean, he was everywhere for like 5 years, and now what?  Am I missing something?

Excellent question, Vitamin G!  And lucky for you, I’m an expert on all things Usher (except, I like to call him Ur-sher) having seen him in concert twice (once as an opening act and once as the main event), memorizing all of his songs, reading his Wikipedia page, and watching his E! True Hollywood Story yesterday.

The long and short of it, Vitamin G, is this:  Ur-sher’s career went downhill when he dumped his long-time manager, HIS MOM.  Momma Ur-sher has never confirmed or denied that the reason she was let go from Ur-sher’s management team but I surmise it was because Ur-sher started dating his stylist, a gold-digging lady eleven years his senior.  Momma Ur-sher did not approve, so much so that she didn’t even make plans to attend his wedding, which he canceled—er—postponed anyway.  But I digress, Ur-sher was too busy making his momma angry, making babies, and marrying (and later divorcing) that gold-digger to concentrate on making good music like my all-time favorites: “My Way,” “Yeah,” and “Caught Up.”  (I promise not to let my impending bundle of joy affect my song writing)

But no worries!  Ur-sher has since re-employed his momma as manager (and divorced his gold-digger) and his new album Raymond vs. Raymond is set to be released on March 30, 2010.  We all can only hope that his recent reunion (and dissolution) will make this album an appropriate follow-up (unlike flop Here I Stand) to his best album ever, Confessions.  Lesson learned:  Mom (at least Ur-sher’s) does know best.

And just for fun, here are some interesting Ur-sher fun facts:

-Ur-sher’s first record deal was almost thwarted by the evil puberty until his mom saved the day by hiring a vocal coach and thus restored his sexy baritone voice.

-Early in his career, Ur-sher was mentored by Diddy (then Puff Daddy).  According to his mother, Ur-sher:  “Got to see the other side of the world.  He did grow up and see a lot of things.”  I learned on another Ur-sher special that this means getting crunk and messing around with many a lady, every night, Diddy-style.

-Following My Way in 1997 and 8701 in 2001, Ur-sher dressed like an urban pirate.

-Hands down, Ur-sher was the sexiest Billy Flynn that Chicago has ever seen.

Question number two comes from the lovely mrs. zack morris: Mondoo, I know from reading your posts that you absolutely love all different kinds of food!  Well, I’m going to be difficult and make you pick your favorite dessert.  If you could eat only one dessert for the rest of your life, what would you choose?  You can be specific or general.  For example, my general dessert would be brownies, but specifically I would choose Ghiradelli Double Chocolate Brownies. They are delicious and sinful and oh-so-chocolatey!!

MZM, I can understand why you think that this question might be difficult for me given my love for all things food and the fact that I’m pregnant and my cravings change by the minute, but honestly, this was a very easy decision for me.  Hands down if I could only eat one dessert for the rest of my life it would be molten chocolate lava cake.  First of all, I love chocolate.  Second, if you’re having chocolate, why not have it in two ways: cake and ganache.  Third, if you’re having chocolate cake, why wouldn’t it be a light, fluffy, moist (ew, hate that word), almost pudding-y chocolate cake?  And fourth, the cake and ganache are best served warm and it simply melts in your mouth.  And when it comes to molten chocolate lava cake, I do not discriminate.  I’ve had these delectable little cakes at fancy dessert restaurants, on cruise ships, and even from the frozen section of Kroger.  All are delicious.

Cowgirl Sarah supplies us with our next question, she writes: Are you a fan of LOST? It premieres next week and I’m sure the internet will be a flutter with all things island-related. I thought you might want to get in your two cents ahead of the media frenzy! I think it’s interesting that LOST maintains a somewhat cult-like following. Most LOST fans are full on obsessed. It’s like Hannah Montana for grown-ups.

Sadly, Cowgirl Sarah, I am not a fan of Lost.  When Lost first hit the scene back in 2004, I, being a fan of all things TV and pop culture buzzworthy, was moderately intrigued.  However, the premiere coincided with my first and subsequent semesters of graduate school.  I had a very limited amount of time to devote towards TV.  However, I was all set to give Lost a chance when I heard a wise old prophet, Regis Philbin, pontificating on the identity of the mysterious unseen creature was roaming the jungle.  He insisted that it was a dinosaur.  I can’t imagine anything more frightening (except for robotic groundhogs) than encountering a real-life dinosaur live and in person.  I made the decision right then and there to not watch Lost.  But, according to my Facebook mini-feed, a lot of people enjoy Lost.  So, good for them.  I hope the premiere last night was everything that they had hoped it would be.  Side note:  I’m especially impressed that you compared Lost to Hannah Montana because coincidentally, fans are also mourning the last season of that beloved show as well.  Well played, Cowgirl.

Our final question comes from my homegirl, Kerri:

What’s something you wish you were really good at but aren’t, or aren’t yet?

I have many but I’ll share just one today:  Golf.  Mr. Mondoo LOVES golf.  And I love Mr. Mondoo.  So, many times early in our relationship, I decided to give golf a chance.  We started out with mini-golf (or putt-putt as it is called in some parts of the country) and I not only competed but dominated at times.  We then moved onto Par 3 courses.  Bad idea.  I couldn’t hit the ball any great distance, I couldn’t putt and suddenly I was transformed into a two-year old complete with tantrums, foot stomping, and club throwing.  Mr. Mondoo vowed to never take me golfing again and I was ok with that.  I don’t like to do things unless I’m good at them and I’m certainly not good at golf.  Mr. Mondoo tried to soothe my anxiety over my golfing inabilities by saying things like “No one is good at golf” and “Things that you aren’t good at can be fun” but I call SHENANIGANS on that.  He’s good at golf and why would you want to do anything that you aren’t good at?  Where is the fun in that?  But sometimes, especially in the summer because you can’t really golf in the winter, I wish that I was good at golf so that I could spend more time with Mr. Mondoo.  Mr. Mondoo is over it though.  He now has his eye on making Baby into the youngest female golf pro in the history of the world and has no interest in teaching Mommy to golf any longer.

A big thanks to these four supportive ladies for writing in this week.  You can be a supportive lady, too, just write in to Mondoo’s Mailbag!

Phil, I Got You Babe

2 Feb

I read this article last week about how PETA—you know those crazies, right?  The ones who ask D-list “celebrities” to pose naked to encourage the rest of us who can’t afford fur to not wear fur? — wants to replace the furry Punxsutawney Phil, of Groundhog Day fame, with a robotic groundhog.  They contend that he is being unfairly held captive and then (for shame) being subjected to bright lights, loud noises, and crowds (once a year, mind you).  However, the article goes on to state that William Deeley, president of the Inner Circle of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club (I wonder what it’s like to be in the inner circle of the groundhog!), says the animal is “being treated better than the average child in Pennsylvania.” I grew up in Pennsylvania, he’s right.  The article continues to report: “the groundhog is kept in a climate-controlled environment and is inspected annually by the state Department of Agriculture.”  They neglected to mention that Phil also gets to live with his lovely wife Phyllis in a local library during the rest of the year.  Love, air conditioning, free medical care, doesn’t sound like a bad life to me!

I don’t know if it’s because I both grew up and went to college only an hour each from Punxsutawney, PA (yes, some people go to college only an hour away from Boston or New York City, no, not me, I went to college an hour away from the Weather Capital of the World), but I feel very passionate about this preposterous idea.  Actually, no that doesn’t have anything to do with it; I’m passionate about it because who wants a bunch of robotic groundhogs running around?!  It’s already terrifying enough that aliens and zombies are going to take over the world someday, I don’t need animatronic groundhogs added to the list.

And let’s be honest, folks, if Phil had been left to his own devices in the wilderness of Pennsylvania, he’d be dead already.  A coyote, bear, shotgun, or pick-up would’ve ended his little life long ago.  The Inner Circle of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club is doing this little guy a favor by holding him captive.

I’m sure if we could put one of those voice devices on Phil, like the one the dogs wear in Up, I’m sure his response to this whole thing would be: “Eff off, PETA.  Oh, and Happy Groundhog Day!”

Rihanna or Zach Roloff?

1 Feb
Rihanna channeled her inner Zach Roloff when she picked out her hat for today’s appearance on Ellen:

Check out her performance here, if you’re so inclined.

Grammy Rewind

1 Feb

Aw, did you miss 141characters’ first live blog event last night?  Never fear!  If you’d like to read the hilarity, just locate the post “Live Blog: Red Carpet & The Grammy Awards,” click on the link, and read the replay.  If you don’t want to or don’t have time, shame on you.  But it’s ok.  I’ve posted some of my thoughts on the Grammy Awards below.

A special thank you to everyone who read along, especially those who joined in as commentators:  Beefer, Mrs. Zack Morris, Mrs. William Guerin, and CQ.  We hope to have more contributors at future live blog events, just join in!  Your next chance is this coming Sunday, February 7 for the Super Bowl at 6pm on CBS.

Lady Gaga, Not Pleased… or Pleasing. Although Lady Gaga did receive some awards last night, she was not awarded any that were actually allowed to be presented during the on-air awards show.  Maybe that’s why she looked so unhappy.  As Beefer pointed out to me this morning, she has spent her whole career acting and dressing like some sort of weirdo and she wasn’t even publicly acknowledged for it last night.  What a buzzkill for her.  And you know what was a buzzkill for us?  Her performance with Elton John.  Maybe we were supposed to get excited, I dunno but a Gaga and Elton combination seemed really obvious to me, like a crazy peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  And let’s talk about her solar system outfit.  I dunno about you but I expected something a little more outlandish. I mean really, you can’t wear lace masks and a bunch of stuffed Kermits all the time and then just show up at an awards show wearing the galaxy.  Yawn.

Where was Britney? She showed up on the red carpet just in time to miss an awkward encounter with Ryan Seacrest and then the producers of the Grammys thought it best not to show her during the awards show because she showed up dressed like this.  Thank you, producers.

Prop FAIL. No one told those of us at home that Michael Jackson’s tribute required 3D glasses. A lesson for all of us:  keep 3D glasses on hand because you just never know when you’re gonna need them.

The Grammy Performance Awards. If you tuned in last night to see awards and acceptance speeches, then you must have been disappointed because the Grammys focused solely on the music.  There were performances from all kinds of people Beyonce, Pink, Lady Gaga, Lady Antebellum (who?  Who cares!), etc.  I’m sure that many people would argue that Bon Jovi or the Michael Jackson tribute ranked up there as the top performances of the evening.  I got news for you, Michael Jackson died seven months ago and although that song was beautiful and star-studded, kinda a snooze fest.  And as for Bon Jovi, only people from Jersey ranked that as number one.  Mondoo’s pick for performance of the evening:  Jamie Foxx and T-Pain.  I was totally not expecting T-Pain to emerge as the mysterious dancing Santa maestro.  I thought maybe he’d arrive on a boat (A surprise to Mondoo:  The Lonely Island was nominated for Best Rap/Sung Collaboration.  Sadly they lost out to Run This Town.)

Goblin Swift. Taylor Swift won too many awards last night.  I really hope that she’s done making music for a while because I’m truly sick of her “Ah, oh my goodness.  I’m so surprised!” acceptance speeches.  I honestly don’t know what sets her apart from any other teenage girl with a guitar and a diary but she is continually being awarded undeserving accolades.  SO.  OVER.  HER.

The Archives. I’m not sure why our Grammy live blog conversation turned to talking about Syzzurp but it did and I was reminded of this awesome song from 2002 and that’s what I’ll leave you with today:

(For a complete list of Grammy Award winners, click here.)

Live Blog: Red Carpet & The Grammy Awards

31 Jan

Join Mondoo for this live event below!

Click Here