Hello 141characters readers! You know what is one topic that we rarely cover on this blog? Fashion. (Unless we’re making fun of what celebrities are wearing, of course). The reasoning behind this is that Mondoo is no fashionista. Frankly, I’m too frugal, old, and insecure to be daring or exciting with my wardrobe. Plus, soon I’ll add mother to that list and while I don’t intend on sporting Mom Jeans anytime soon, yellow tights are definitely not in my future. Well, that’s not the case with the two ladies who write for a new blog on the scene, The Tights that Bind. So, if you’re into fashion, want to be into fashion, want some new wardrobe ideas, or, frankly, just need the encouragement to wear yellow tights (they say there is courage in numbers!), please check out their blog.
Sometimes it’s tough finding fun weekend activities to do in the winter. It’s cold, snowy, The Department of Transportation doesn’t plow your road. This was certainly the case for the Mondoos last weekend. The weekend started out well as Friday was date night followed by a birthday celebration for Vitamin G, where, incidentally, I FINALLY got to sass a boy in a bar. First of all, I say boy because honestly, this young man looked as if he were 18 years old. Second of all, he must have been really drunk because not only was he lying through his teeth about growing up in up-state New York (“Oh yeah, where in upstate?” “Um, I dunno.” “You don’t remember where you grew up?” “Um, no.”) but he failed to notice my giant pregnant belly (or maybe that’s what drew him to me, weirdo). He eventually grew tired of my disinterest and calling out his lies and said: “Ok, you are either out of my league or just think that you’re out of my league…” I stopped him and said: “Oh honey, I’m married, pregnant and TOTALLY out of your league.” OOO, burn! Where was Mr. Mondoo during all of this mess? Flirting with Vitamin G’s boyfriend over the latest news in professional wrestling.
But I digress. Unfortunately after a fun-filled Friday, Saturday left us snowed in and after successfully reading everything on the internet, watching a movie that made Mr. Mondoo cry, crock potting a delicious pot roast, and unsuccessfully baking chocolate chip cookies, our only option left for fun was tuning in to Saturday Night Live to see if the new year would suddenly make it funny. Well, news flash. It still sucks. And, let’s face it, SNL has sucked for a looooong time. Occasionally they have a funny skit here or there, but usually all of their funny stuff is contained within the confines of Digital Shorts or Weekend Update. Most of the skits are lame and after watching the most recent episode, I’m finally ready to proclaim, it’s all Kristen Wiig’s fault.
For some inexplicable reason (although I’ll do my best to surmise), Lorne Michaels has chosen to showcase Kristen Wiig as his primary female cast member. The only problem is that Kristen Wiig is completely unfunny.
Let’s explore (NBC won’t let me embed videos, probably because they are so hilarious that they don’t want them to be easily played everywhere, so you’ll need to click on the links to watch the videos, wah wah):
Ok, yes, we ALL know one of these people: the one-upper. But has an experience with a one-upper EVER been funny in real life? NO. It’s incredibly annoying and uncomfortable. Much like Kristen Wigg’s recurring character of Penelope.
I checked out SNL’s Christmas special this year, hoping for some classic (and funny) holiday sketches from years past and instead I was met with the host for the Christmas special: Gilly. As if that wasn’t bad enough, there were like ten Gilly sketches during the entire special. Dear SNL writers, what is funny about Gilly? She’s a mean “little girl” whose only retort is a lispy: “Sorry.” Writing FAIL.
Yes, Kristen Wiig is annoying but SNL is just annoying in general. ALL sketches last far too long, even the funny ones, case in point, the above clip. Some sketches start out funny (even some, maybe just this one, with Kristen Wiig) and then last so unbearably long that you forgot that it once used to be funny and now you’re just bored.
“Don’t make me sing.” Ugh, don’t make me change the channel. As if it isn’t obvious by now, all of Kristen Wiig’s characters are the same. She uncontrollably turns her head from side to side, speaks all fast but in a hushed tone, and darts her beady eyes in all directions. If it weren’t for the change in wigs and costume, the audience would never know that we’ve moved on to a new sketch.
Let’s be honest, folks, Kristen Wiig is terribly unfunny. It’s very obvious to me that she is simply trying to follow in the footsteps of her equally unfunny SNL foremothers Molly Shannon and Cheri Oteri. Ms. Wiig, these two ladies spent their SNL years playing the same, unfunny characters over and over again and look how their careers turned out. I’d be careful if I were you.
Kristen Wiig is such a one-trick pony. Just like a blogger who writes about the same three ideas day in and day out… wait a second… Holding down a blog on your own and posting everyday is tough! I can’t help it if some weeks all I do is complain about celebrities, fantasize about food, and then do it again the next two days, rounding out the week with a sub-par edition of Love/Hate. So, yeah, sorry, Kristen Wiig. I was kinda hard on you today.
Are you planning on watching The Grammy Awards this Sunday, January 31st? If so, follow along with Mondoo as she watches E!’s coverage of Live from the Red Carpet! 52 Annual Grammy Awards at 6pm and then the main show at 8pm the 52nd Annual Grammy Awards on CBS. Mr. Mondoo found this awesome tool for me to use which will allow you to make comments and converse along with me, if you so choose. Do you have alternate plans for Sunday? That’s unfortunate, but never fear, read all about the live blog, the Grammy Awards, and my thoughts on it all first thing Monday morning, as the transcript will be available following the live blog event. Hope to see you then and also for our future live blog events: The Super Bowl on Sunday, February 7 and The Academy Awards on Sunday, March 7. And please feel free to send in suggestions for other live blog events as well!
A lot of bloggers out there have been live blogging for quite some time. They blog presentations, keynote speeches, debates, etc. Doesn’t that sound boring? I like to think that we’re not boring here at 141characters, so I’m going to start live blogging some actual fun events. My plan is to start out with The Grammy Awards, then move onto The Super Bowl, and, of course, cover the Academy Awards, and maybe even incorporate some of my own personal life events into the live blogging realm, you know, if I ever do anything fun and interesting where it’s appropriate to carry around a laptop.
Unlike Mondoo’s Mailbag where only a handful of you participate from time to time (yeah, I’m talking about this week, where were all of you? I can’t write a mailbag post without questions! Thanks to mrs. zack morris though, she sent one in today), I’m asking that if you have any ideas on events in pop culture or even events in Mondoo’s life that you’d like to see live blogged, please write in and let me know! That’d be fun. I love feedback. Well, positive and helpful feedback.
So, mark your calendar for these upcoming 141characters live blogging events:
Sunday, January 31, 6pm, E!- Live from the Red Carpet! 52 Annual Grammy Awards
Sunday, January 31, 8pm, CBS– 52nd Annual Grammy Awards
Sunday, February 7, 6pm– Super Bowl 44- New Orleans Saints vs. Indianapolis Colts
Sunday, March 7, 6pm, E!- Live from the Red Carpet! 82nd Annual Academy Awards
Sunday, March 7, 8pm, ABC- 82nd Annual Academy Awards
And send in some suggestions!
I’m sure that you’ve all seen the latest news, Vitamin G has stepped down from her post as my co-blogger. A sad day for 141characters indeed! We’ll miss her and her witty thoughts about food, festivals, and zombies. I gladly invite her back to guest post from time to time! I’ll miss you, Vitamin G! Mainly because this means that I have to come up with more blog posts. Eek. I suppose that I could look for a new co-blogger. Hmmm. Let’s see what some of my major requirements would be:
– Must love food and hating on celebrities. I mean, what else would you write about?
– Must hate vampires. Vitamin G wholeheartedly disagreed and it made things uncomfortable.
– Must be a good writer. See any of Vitamin G’s posts for proper 141characters writing style.
– Must be funny, but not funnier than me. Vitamin G was really clever but I’d like a new co-blogger to not be funnier than me, I want to be the outright funny one this time. Selfish? I don’t care. It’s my blog now, suckas!
– Must also be unemployed. Blogging is easier when you’re unemployed. I think that’s where Vitamin G went wrong.
Interested in applying? Please send a writing sample that I may or may not steal from you and use as a future post. It all depends on how funny it is. I will then schedule an interview with you over a meal or ice cream. You must pay.
On second thought, as much as I’d love the free ice cream, I’ll just stick to blogging by myself. I will gladly take suggestions on future or recurring posts though! Let me know what you want to see on 141characters and I’ll do my best to cover it.
Farewell, Vitamin G!
I trust that you all had a fantastic holiday. I, in typical Mondoo fashion, both loved and hated it, but more on that this Friday. I felt like taking some questions from Mondoo’s Mailbag today, mainly because I’m plum out of post ideas. And soon, I’ll be out of mailbag questions as well. Guilt only worked on Kerri, what will persuade the rest of you to write in? I’m not begging, so tough. But as a kindly reminder, if you have a question for Mondoo, please leave it in the comments or email email@example.com.
First a few questions from my most loyal reader, Kerri:
What’s your favorite feature of the grocery store you frequent? There are different chains here in Florida, and Publix has awesome iced tea flavors, as well as cute, seasonal, reusable bags.
Aside from the pirate-cleaning Foodland down the street, the Mondoos frequent the nice Kroger about 20 minutes from our home. We bypass the somewhat scary Kroger about 15 minutes away, for obvious reasons; it’s scary. My favorite features about this Kroger are the expansive olive bar which includes a plethora of olives, of course, sun-dried tomatoes, hummus, pickled peppers, baba ganoush, and tabouli) and the sushi bar (although I haven’t tried it, it’s nice to know that the grocery store has sushi when you’re in a pinch). The Mondoos are also a big fan of buying generic because it’s a great way to save money. There are some things though that we must buy name brand (there’s nothing like Heinz Ketchup!) but, all in all, Kroger’s Private Selection items are pretty fabulous.
How do you feel about real, actual mail? I love sending letters (and receiving letters), but people think this is weird and old-fashioned.
As I alluded to in Love/Hate: Christmas Cards, I love real mail! I always try my best to send cards and thank you notes because in the world of Facebook and email, we rarely ever get anything in hard copy form. I love the green movement and recycling as much as the next person but an email, e-card, etc. can never replace the awesomeness of opening your mailbox and finding something addressed to you that isn’t a bill.
Similarly, I’m not a big fan of this whole “read a book on your iPhone” craze that’s happening lately. Even Amazon has the Kindle out now. I can’t think of anything more uncomfortable than reading an entire book on my cell phone. There’s something about sitting down with a book, a blanket, and a cup of tea that is so enjoyable. Granted, I haven’t done that in a while because I’ve read all the books on my bookshelf and can’t bring myself to read them over. (Side note: if anyone has any book suggestions, please let me know. Please do not suggest Twilight, Harry Potter, or any variation of the aforementioned. I’m not into fantasy. Or Amish romance novels. But if I was, I know who I could borrow them from. Wink, wink, you know who you are!)
Next question/comment/follow-up to a question from last week. Do you like word games? Have you heard of/played Bananagrams?
Kerri, I do love word games! I used to love word searches when I was younger; I even used to create my own and then make my dad search for the words (NERD ALERT!). Do they make word searches for adults? I love crossword puzzles and Scattergories but I fear that I’m not very good at them. My husband kicks butt at Scattergories and I hate to play any game with him that doesn’t even allow me to compete. He has all these Scattergories tricks like using answers like Hubert H. Humphrey, Birmingham Black Barons, Walla Walla, Washington, and great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts. If that’s not cheating, I don’t know what is.
I have not heard of Bananagrams. Enlighten me!
Our next (and last) question comes from boyswillbboys:
Mondoo, where are your readers concentrated? How many other fantastic readers do you have besides me? What do your reader stats look like?
Dear boys: Unfortunately, WordPress.com doesn’t track views based upon location. That’s kind of weird, isn’t it? I do have some stats on views, referrers, top posts, clicks and searches. Here are some interesting tidbits:
The top five searches that lead people to our blog include the following: 1) The Rock, 2) funnel cake, 3) Mike Tomlin, 4) donuts, and 5) handsome. I don’t know what those terms say about our posts or our readers.
Our top five posts of all time include the following: Love/Hate: Christmas Decorations (2,105 views), Almost Hungry, West Virginia (1,762 views), Festival Foods- Not Fair, FABULOUS! (934 views), Love/Hate: Football (368 views), and Friendly Five (323 views).
We average 107 readers a day and our busiest day was back in October with 1,831views. Our busiest days, by far, are when we’re featured on WordPress’s “Freshly Pressed.” They should feature us more, we’re hilarious.
That’s it for the mailbag this week! And remember, if you have a mailbag question, leave it in the comments or email firstname.lastname@example.org!