Tag Archives: ice cream

Wanted: Co-Blogger

19 Jan

I’m sure that you’ve all seen the latest news, Vitamin G has stepped down from her post as my co-blogger.  A sad day for 141characters indeed!  We’ll miss her and her witty thoughts about food, festivals, and zombies.  I gladly invite her back to guest post from time to time!  I’ll miss you, Vitamin G!   Mainly because this means that I have to come up with more blog posts.  Eek.  I suppose that I could look for a new co-blogger.  Hmmm.  Let’s see what some of my major requirements would be:

Must love food and hating on celebrities. I mean, what else would you write about?

Must hate vampires. Vitamin G wholeheartedly disagreed and it made things uncomfortable.

Must be a good writer. See any of Vitamin G’s posts for proper 141characters writing style.

Must be funny, but not funnier than me. Vitamin G was really clever but I’d like a new co-blogger to not be funnier than me, I want to be the outright funny one this time.  Selfish?  I don’t care.  It’s my blog now, suckas!

Must also be unemployed. Blogging is easier when you’re unemployed.  I think that’s where Vitamin G went wrong.

Interested in applying? Please send a writing sample that I may or may not steal from you and use as a future post.  It all depends on how funny it is.  I will then schedule an interview with you over a meal or ice cream.  You must pay.

On second thought, as much as I’d love the free ice cream, I’ll just stick to blogging by myself.  I will gladly take suggestions on future or recurring posts though!  Let me know what you want to see on 141characters and I’ll do my best to cover it.

Farewell, Vitamin G!

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Mondoo’s Mailbag

7 Jan

Thanks for the questions this week, readers!  I truly appreciate it and keep on writing in; just leave a question in the comments or send an email to 141characters@gmail.com!

Our first question this week comes from Chad, who I hear resembles Carlos from Desperate Housewives, growl!  “Don’t you think it is time for you to get a dog? Not a puppy, a dog. It’ll love you just the same even if you don’t go through the hassle of potty training yourself. It is a dog, they have unconditional love.”

In a word, NO.  Have you not been reading 141characters?!  I’m having a baby!  I don’t have time for a dog.  And besides, I’ve only met one well-behaved dog in my entire life (Puppy, may you rest in peace).  All other dogs that I know are a handful!  Take Vitamin G’s dog, for example.  He is SO adorable, but also a rotten stinker.  He’s sneaky in a “I’m going to eat all these chicken bones out of the garbage and steal pills out of your purse” kind of way.  He might give Vitamin G lots of unconditional love, but if you raise your kids properly, they will, too—with the bonus skill of verbal communication!  Plus, babies’ jaws can’t crack chicken bones.  Case closed.

Ok, this response from Rosalie wasn’t exactly a mailbag question but I thought that I’d take the time to respond anyway:  “OMG. I have been waiting for you guys to post about Jersey Shore forever. I keep thinking I should write in to Mondoo’s mailbag about it, but maybe now she’ll just respond to your post.”

Dear Rosalie, Sorry that 141characters left you hanging for so long!  I’ve refrained from writing about Jersey Shore for a couple of different reasons:

1) I don’t feel like watching it.  I try to steer clear of those types of reality shows, you know, the ones that leave me with no faith in the future of humanity and leave me wondering how I’ll never get that half hour of my life back.

2) It seems disturbingly similar to any Real World post 1999—constant drinking, belligerence, and hot tub making out.  I stopped watching Real World after the Hawaii season because then it stopped being real and started being a freak show.

3)  The only thing that separates this show from the Real World is that it unfairly stereotypes an entire ethnic group.  Therefore, if I wrote honestly and truly about my Jersey Shore feelings, I fear that I might sound incredibly racist.  I love insulting celebrities and my neighbors but I would hate to alienate an entire ethnic group.

I hope that Vitamin G has satisfied your need for us to comment on Jersey Shore though, if not, perhaps I’ll send you an email with my true thoughts 😉

Our next question comes from Mrs. Zack Morris: “So, who is your favorite celebrity’s baby (toddler) as far as being adorable goes? As a follow up, who is your least favorite celebrity’s baby (toddler)? Mine is Suri Cruise because her parents are bat shit crazy and her stupid high heels and her never wearing a coat habit and phew, that’s about it.”

At the risk of resembling this woman who is obviously way into the children of celebrities (seriously, read some of her explanations of these 20 Cutest Celebrity Kids.  Lady, get a life!), I will proceed with my favorite and least favorite children of celebrities.

Most Favorite: Matilda Ledger.  Hands down.  She is so adorable, chill, and always happy.  And I love her casual, “I’m a real little girl” outfits, unlike your “fave” Suri Cruise who wears her dresses and heels and shows off all the time.  And besides the Affleck children, she’s the celeb baby that you see most with his/her parent(s) and not a nanny and bodyguard.  So, kudos to Michelle Williams for balancing Hollywood and being a mom.

Least Favorite: I hesitate to list a least favorite because you can’t really dislike a little kid unless you know them and they are super mean or are simply gross and eat paste or something like that.  But there is a child of a celebrity that I just feel plain badly for and this is Ryder Robinson—son (I think?  Can’t be too sure when you look at those pictures) of Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson (who I guess is famous, I’ve never heard of him).  This poor child’s whole existence is fraught with ambiguity: his name is Ryder (I’m sorry, but that doesn’t scream boy to me), his hair (I don’t think my hair has ever been that long), outfits like this, and I swear I saw him wearing a dress once.  Poor little kid.

Our final questions come this week from our most loyal reader and commenter, Kerri.  I’m combining my answers into one retort, I hope that’s ok, Kerri:

“1) Favorite quirky vacation spot? We are visiting family and going to Hershey Chocolate World today. I have been before but am really excited about it!

2) Favorite ice cream flavor?

3) Did you go on any road trips when you were growing up? What sort of things did you do to occupy yourselves in the car?”

Oh Kerri, my family was all about the road trip.  We drove to Disney World (from PA, mind you) four times, to the beach countless times, and also to Amish country too many times for young children.  We occupied ourselves mainly by sleeping, fighting, and car bingo.

I don’t know if I can call any of these my favorite vacation spot but one thing is for certain, they are definitely quirky.  It wasn’t until later in my life when walking down memory lane with my sisters that we realized that our parents took us on some pretty bizarre vacations as children.

Exhibit A:  Anderson Pretzel Bakery.  Ah, yes, the fascinating creation of the pretzel.  We learned all about it during a fascinating tour of the Anderson Pretzel Bakery.  The reward for watching dough being baked and bagged?  A Bavarian Dutch pretzel.  Kinda worth it.  As a child with a penchant for salty snacks, I especially enjoyed the gift shop at the end of the tour that contained just about any kind of pretzel you could imagine.

Exhibit B:  Lebanon Bologna Factory.  No one ever wants to know how they make things like hot dogs and bologna but my parents wanted us to know the truth.  I don’t remember much about that tour but I remember how badly it smelled.  This visit wasn’t a total wash though; they gave you a free Lebanon Bologna Factory flyswatter at the end.  Score!

My parents were really silent during our family conversation about these bizarre childhood road trips.  When pressed, they explained their actions with an exasperated: “What?!  Those vacations were fun… and we were poor.  At least we took you on vacation!  And you liked them!”  Touché parents.  What kids don’t like pretzels and bologna?

If you’re interested in taking your family on such vacations, I found this helpful book.  I plan to scour my parent’s house for the copy that they surely had back in the 80s.

Favorite ice cream?  Please see this post.  And, furthermore, my favorites change by day.  Right now, I could totally go for some chocolate marshmallow.  Aw man, now this pregnant lady needs to go to the grocery store.  Thanks for the craving idea, Kerri!

Mondoo’s Mailbag

19 Nov

My husband reads all sorts of blogs on a daily basis, but one blog in particular, he often encourages me to read; more specifically, he encourages me to read this blog’s weekly “mailbag” post.  The many readers of this particular blog submit questions, comments, etc. and then weekly, the blogger regales them with his witty insights and musings.  Since imitation is the highest form of flattery, I want to down-right copy this man’s idea and institute my own recurring mailbag post.  His mailbag posts are hilarious so I figure that mine will be even more amusing.

That’s where you, 141characters loyal readers—all five of you, come in.  I need you to submit your questions, topic ideas, and so on.  You can do this in one of two ways: 1) Post a comment on Mondoo’s Mailbag posts and I will reply in a subsequent post, or 2) Should you wish to remain anonymous, simply send an email to 141characters@gmail.com with Mondoo’s Mailbag as the subject line and include your alias.

What kinds of questions can you ask or which kinds of topics can you propose?  Anything, that’s the beauty of this idea! Do you want my opinion on a specific topic that I have not yet covered in my daily posts?  Do you need some guidance with a dilemma plaguing your life?  Maybe you need some gift giving advice for the upcoming holiday season; whatever the case, mail it in!  But keep in mind, this mailbag idea will completely bomb unless you play along, so get going!  Until I receive some inquires, I will address some fake ones that I just made up:

Mondoo, why are your posts so hate-filled?

Honestly, I’m really not a hateful person.  In fact, I’m quite happy with my life and everything in it but I do get aggravated by a lot of things and rather than take them all out on my husband, I project a lot of my hate into the blog.  But here’s the thing, my hate-filled rants are much more enjoyable for you to read.  Trust me, posts about how awesome my life is are not funny.  I’ve tried.  How do you make that funny?  It’s nearly impossible.  So, just go with it, don’t take it too seriously and laugh along with me.  Because I’m funny.

What is your favorite ice cream flavor, Mondoo?

Trick question.  I love all flavors of ice cream, but some of my favorites are butter pecan, black raspberry, chocolate marshmallow, Chocolate Better Batter, rocky road, and seasonally, Valley Dairy’s Pumpkin.

Mondoo, you seem to hate a lot of things, mainly celebrities.  Which celebrity do you hate the most?

Good question.  Tough question actually.  I think that I’d have to say that this week, it’s a tie between Spencer Pratt and Carrie Prejean.  Spencer Pratt is famous for nothing except being a horrible real-life villain.  What kind of a man picks a fight with Al Roker via his Twitter account?  A pansy loser who has no real talents except to run his mouth and ride out his 15 minutes much longer than anyone wants, that’s who.  Speaking of people riding out their 15 minutes, Carrie Prejean is using her last minute to make the rounds on talk shows and be unnecessarily defensive.  Honey, you need to chill out and get off your high horse.  Someone needs to teach you how to discuss your opinions in a calm and rational manner.  Carrie, you’re inappropriate.

Mondoo, you really seem to hate a lot of things except for ice cream.  Are there any ice cream flavors that you hate?

Banana.  I don’t understand how ice cream makers can make some ice cream flavors so spot on (like oatmeal cookie and red velvet cake for instance) and then be so off when it comes to simple flavors like banana.  Same thing with banana popsicles.  They don’t taste like banana.  They taste like those little banana-shaped Runt candies.  If pressed, I do hate some other ice cream flavors, mainly any flavor that tastes like candy—Red Hot, cotton candy, bubblegum.  Candy is candy and ice cream is ice cream, no need to mix flavors.

Stay tuned for next week’s edition of Mondoo’s Mailbag where I hope to answer some real questions!  *Note:  all inquiries do not have to revolve around my hate.*

Mountain Momma

17 Nov

My sisters and I used to tease and make fun of each other mercilessly as children, but the second someone else made a crack about one of them, I was the first to spring to their defense and vice versa.  You know why?  Because you can make fun of your family all you want, but in the very instant that someone else does it becomes totally unacceptable.  Downright hateful.  You don’t mess with someone’s family. Guess what else you don’t mess with?  Someone’s home.  Well, unless you live in a big state like Pennsylvania where the east and west are drastically different. The east does have Philadelphia after all and we all know what kinds of people live in Philly.

I’ll be honest, I’ve only lived in West Virginia for six months now and I’m already tired of hearing the West Virginia jokes.  No, I haven’t met anyone married to his or her cousin. In fact, in a quick (and I’m sure, statistically correct) Google search, it seems that Alaska and Alabama are fighting it out to be the leading state with the most incest, so there.

Perhaps the biggest offenders of these snide comments about West Virginia come from members of my own family.  I hate to break it to you but where I live now is no different from where I grew up and where you currently live, family.  Case in point:  this guy.

And to the rest of you, friends and those I’m moderately acquainted with on Facebook, I urge you to visit these two remarkable sites:  http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/ and http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/.  I know it’s hard to believe but weird and trashy people live all over the country and these two websites prove it.  They aren’t all uncomfortably condensed in West Virginia.

Ok, ok, so there are some oddball things that I have discovered about West Virginia and if you make fun of the following, I’ll have to agree with you, but that’s where it ends, ok?

The accent: I lived in Virginia for three years prior to moving to West Virginia, I’m familiar with a southern accent, but for those of you who live outside of the Mountain State, let me tell you, this accent is unlike any other that I’ve heard of in my life.  Imagine an interesting combination of a Pittsburghese accent, southern accent, and someone speaking with a huge amount of chaw in their mouth and this is the West Virginia accent.  To be honest, most people I know don’t have this accent but enough people around here do which makes some encounters especially straining to the ears.

Feral dogs: If you’re in the market for a mangy, emaciated dog, come to West Virginia because they are all over the place.  Along the highway?  Check!  Roaming the city streets?  Check!  Right here in my very own neighborhood preventing me from taking a safe walk in the morning?  Check!  West Virginia needs to hire those two fake dog catchers from Beethoven to help combat this problem.

Abandoned cars: If there’s one thing that rivals feral dogs along side of the highway, it’s abandoned cars.  I don’t know why so many cars break down along the highway in West Virginia but they do and they stay there for days on end.  I guess it’s better than putting it up on blocks in your front yard.

All kidding aside, living in West Virginia isn’t so bad.  We have arts and entertainment, fairs and festivals, fab local restaurants, reasonable temperatures, a kick-butt farmer’s market, and homemade ice cream.  I could go on and on about why this place isn’t so bad but apparently these people have already done it, so just check out their site.