Tag Archives: zombies

Go Viral: Part Three

24 Jun

I thought that I’d ease back into posting again by throwing out the third and final part of my “Go Viral” series.   Plus, it bides me a little more time to create an original comeback post.

“Um… alright… you’re… uh… a good zombie.”

“No… I’ll leave them on… I like them.”

“What?!  OK!”

“Women have Mason-Dixon Lines?”

(No… I can’t embed this one,  you’ll just have to click on it,  wah wah.)

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-december-2-2004/cooters-

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Phil, I Got You Babe

2 Feb

I read this article last week about how PETA—you know those crazies, right?  The ones who ask D-list “celebrities” to pose naked to encourage the rest of us who can’t afford fur to not wear fur? — wants to replace the furry Punxsutawney Phil, of Groundhog Day fame, with a robotic groundhog.  They contend that he is being unfairly held captive and then (for shame) being subjected to bright lights, loud noises, and crowds (once a year, mind you).  However, the article goes on to state that William Deeley, president of the Inner Circle of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club (I wonder what it’s like to be in the inner circle of the groundhog!), says the animal is “being treated better than the average child in Pennsylvania.” I grew up in Pennsylvania, he’s right.  The article continues to report: “the groundhog is kept in a climate-controlled environment and is inspected annually by the state Department of Agriculture.”  They neglected to mention that Phil also gets to live with his lovely wife Phyllis in a local library during the rest of the year.  Love, air conditioning, free medical care, doesn’t sound like a bad life to me!

I don’t know if it’s because I both grew up and went to college only an hour each from Punxsutawney, PA (yes, some people go to college only an hour away from Boston or New York City, no, not me, I went to college an hour away from the Weather Capital of the World), but I feel very passionate about this preposterous idea.  Actually, no that doesn’t have anything to do with it; I’m passionate about it because who wants a bunch of robotic groundhogs running around?!  It’s already terrifying enough that aliens and zombies are going to take over the world someday, I don’t need animatronic groundhogs added to the list.

And let’s be honest, folks, if Phil had been left to his own devices in the wilderness of Pennsylvania, he’d be dead already.  A coyote, bear, shotgun, or pick-up would’ve ended his little life long ago.  The Inner Circle of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club is doing this little guy a favor by holding him captive.

I’m sure if we could put one of those voice devices on Phil, like the one the dogs wear in Up, I’m sure his response to this whole thing would be: “Eff off, PETA.  Oh, and Happy Groundhog Day!”

Movie Review: Dead Snow (Død Snø)

9 Nov

dead snow

This weekend I saw the  soon-to-be-classic, Dead Snow, about 7 Norwegian medical students who unwind during Easter vacation at a friend’s cabin isolated in all directions in the snowy Nordic mountains.  It’s all carefree and fun until the Nazis show up.  Wait, make that the Nazi zombies.  This movie has everything: snow, Nazis, zombies.  I thoroughly enjoyed it and I still fall on the same side of the argument had by several movie-goers before the show that zombies do not lose defining human characteristics (be them Nazis, monks or Kenyan distance runners) upon becoming zombies.  These zombies were not necessarily preoccupied with the supremacy of the Aryan race, but they were wearing World War II German uniforms and hanging Nazi flags in their zombie lairs.  Also, the point of the movie is that they were avenging the students’ accidental theft of the valuables the Nazis snatched from the townies at the end of the war.  In that respect, the movie had kind of a Goonies II flavor.

Dead Snow left me with a few questions though, in this order.

–       What was the obsession with intestines?  They were a focal point of every zombie attack.  At first I thought the zombies were feeding on them, but when I learned that they just wanted their gold back, that didn’t make sense.

–       On that note, what a waste!  I’m sure any other zombies out there watching this movie would be incensed to see all those guts go uneaten.

–       How did zombies get so strong?  One zombie attack featured a zombie reaching from behind on either side of a guy’s head and ripping his head apart, his brain falling helplessly to the ground.  As his brain was unconnected to anything, it was only a matter of time before this kid died of other causes so maybe his head was more malleable than others’; but bare-handed skull cracking takes strength no matter what.  Again though, no one ate the brain and what a waste, particularly for those brains-inclined zombies.

–       Once it appeared the zombies were content when they had their gold, I had to wonder what they were planning on doing with it.  Surely if they were cognizant enough to have a motive for killing they had some sort of plan.  Were they going to go to town spend it?   Had they been dreaming for the past 65 years what they would buy?  An electric heater?  Transistor radio?  Velcro?

–        If that creepy older guy who showed up at the cabin to tell everyone about the evil that to come was so knowledgeable on the ways of Nazi zombies, why was he sleeping in a tent in the middle of snowy nowhere and SO unprepared with the zombies came for him?  That couldn’t have been a surprise.

All in all, anyone interested in zombies or World War II history should see this movie.  And for those interested in both, your day has arrived.

Rewind

5 Nov

[picapp src=”0191/0105445e-5767-485b-9339-fe91cf011872.jpg?adImageId=7129158&imageId=194776″ width=”380″ height=”130″ /]

 

I read the gossip blog Perez Hilton numerous times each day.  I can’t say that I enjoy most of it.  While I love the entertainment news and celebrity gossip, Perez is obnoxious and I often disagree with his sentiments.  He’s obsessed with Lady Gaga, he writes too much about fake celebrities like Katie Price and the Kardashians, and he’s obviously pro-Kate in this whole Jon and Kate Plus 8 fiasco (um, they are both despicable people, no need to choose sides).  But I’ve never disagreed with him more than when I came across this post the other day.

A recap for those of you who don’t click on links (they aren’t viruses, old people).  Steve Guttenberg is pretty pumped that apparently there is another Three Men and a Baby movie in the works.  Perez isn’t enthused but I am!  I LOVED Three Men and a Baby and also loved the sequel Three Men and a Little Lady.  Perez posits that the movie should be sent straight to video. I disagree.  Forget New Moon!  When this movie comes out, I’ll pre-purchase my tickets and be the first in the theater.  I love Tom Selleck.  And my mom does, too, because of his mustache.

Perez did get me thinking though.  There are many other late 80s movies from my childhood that could use a sequel…

 

Adventures in Babysitting

Well, looky here.  Wikipedia informs me that apparently there is a sequel/remake in the making due in 2010.  But this one will star Raven of That’s So Raven-fame.  No, sorry, original cast members, please.  I mean, really, what has Elizabeth Shue done lately?  I know that she’s in her 40s but she could still babysit, right?  Think about it Touchstone.  OH!  I do have one suitable replacement for an original cast member.  Remember the guy who played Thor?  Replace him with The Rock.

 

Big

Playing with toys at work, living in the city with a trampoline, and dancing on a piano, who didn’t love this movie?   I’m sick of Tom Hanks doing those boring Dan Brown movies, do something fun again, like Bigger.  If you ask me, it looks like Tom Hanks has already begun preparing for his role in Bigger, zing!

 

Pee Wee’s Big Adventure

Yeah, I know that they made Big Top Pee Wee but I didn’t like it as much as Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.  Big Top was missing fantastic contraptions like this.  And there was no Large Marge or dancing on the bar to Tequila either.  LAME.  Hollywood, make a suitable sequel, por favor.  Yeah, I’d love to see Pee Wee again in the theater, well as long as Paul Reubens isn’t there.

 

Cocktail

I’d love to see them remake Cocktail.  No, not a sequel.  Just remake it.  I used to love this movie and then Tom Cruise went crazy and ruined it for me.  Honestly, I can’t even watch it and enjoy it anymore without picturing Tom jumping on a couch or forcing his child bride to marry him.  This time, they should remake it with Ryan Reynolds.  Or The Rock.

 

Steel Magnolias

This movie gets me every time.  I don’t think there is a woman out there who doesn’t love this movie.  Unless you’re a heartless witch.  I’d love to see a sequel.  I know that all of the actresses are still big names so it may be tough to get them all involved in another film.  I bet that Julia Roberts would still want to be involved.  They could bring back her character you know, that do it in the soaps.  That or she could portray “Zombie Shelby.”

 

Uncle Buck

Sigh.  Thanks a lot, John Candy.  Way to go ahead and die and make this dream impossible.  I don’t think that there is a suitable replacement and definitely not someone who can go around with a principal like this.  Well, maybe The Rock could do it.